Hi King2 , It's been a while !

"...Is there anyone out there who really dislikes M, and does not want anything more to do with him, and see him now as a fake, But still has to remember HN?..."

Are you talking about yourself ? What do you mean by "has to"  ( obligation ) ?  If it is you,   do you choose to ( remember HN ) or are you afraid not to ?

I am a recently departed soul who still remembers HN quite often, in fact possibly MORE ( now that I don't feel any obligation ! ). I remember partly out of ingrained habit but more often because I choose to. I find it helps me to relax, concentrate and focus on the present situation. It seems to be an antidote to my natural tendency to panic and it often seems to still me to the point where I experience a feeling of " love " . At the moment I don't think any of this is my imagination. I always liked this tecnique ( unlike the other three which I can happily live without ,especially the putting the tongue down my throat one.)

"...I was born with a lot of sawdust in my head..."

If it's any consolation I find  " the training sessions " hard to follow too. They are the transcript of some sessions M. held with some instructors and " high ranking " premies in 1999 . I'm not sure what it all meant but it certainly didn't seem designed to boost the premies self- esteem and confidence !

I know that " sawdust- in- the- head" feeling ( 'specially when I used to smoke dope...! ). It seems to me that some of the forum contributors are hugely clever and have probably attained heights of academia that I could only dream of...

also communication through internet forums is obviously easier for the more literate and literary and can be , by its nature, rather selective.....

There is the added problem of American/ British differences in language/references/humour/tone etc...

but what the hell... Nice to hear from you King2 !