Gok,

You have said that you would get really depressed if Maharaji turned out to be a creep. 

You have forgotten Rawat's no.1 message.  But that's ok.  He doesn't really mean it. 

That which you are looking for is within you.

I guess you don't really believe that.

But, as I would put it:  you've got to find your own inner strength. 

If Rawat turns out to be no better than the men who abused you as a child, then:

SO WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?

You've still got to contend with yourself, minus everything.  Including Prem Rawat, who is nothing but a figurehead anyway.  If you want something of good report, then look in a more reliable place than at a very flawed human being.

I'm starting to get a better feel for premies, the ones from the seventies who are still loyal.  I know several personally and I have interacted with some here on this forum.  Invariably they are the ones who seem to need a father figure in their life, even now.  I wouldn't really worry about all of this so much except I'm still in love with a premie and he's one of those people whose father wasn't there for him.

Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be so mean to premies here, especially the ones who say they trust Maharaji with all their heart.  But then I notice that they never take anything I say seriously.  So what the hell!