Thanks for the answers, Bob. Harsh words of truth there. Those whose prime years were wasted in the ashram life you detailed were victims--brainwashed into self-perceived willingness. Victims of a man who was too vain and self-involved to even care about the harm he was doing to thousands of young men and women. Yes, looking at the big picture, the cruelty was Rawat's M.O.

Ashram life was a prettified version of being "thrown into the Hole" in California Scientology life.

I was fortunate to have lived that full-bore ashram cult life less than a year. In the mid-70's I spent a few years in three small Midwestern premie communities, seemingly distant from the intensity of big-city DLM influence. I continued with my degree-accumulating career-beginning life in the meantime. (Like you, not fully disclosing my premie life to many others. So I guess I know exactly how today's premies justify their duplicity.)

Not having the ever-deepening spiritual experience I believed was the destiny of The Seeker, though, I doubled down on a bad bet and moved to Denver. (Still here!)

Lived in one ashram with seven other men, then was promoted to House Father in a bigger ashram with several long-time ashram premies. That was the ticket to do Darshan Service at a Festival. (Hans Jayanti '78?) Standing next to Guru Maharaj Ji for a couple of hours should have been something of an enlightening experience, according to my conceptions of the guru-disciple relationship. But it was like being around a movie star. Nada. Zip. Bupkis.

That was really the end of it. When I told my parents I was leaving, my mother said she didn't sleep that night, she was so happy. I never missed a Christmas in St. Louis after all. Ashram life lasted less than a year for me.

Ken Wilber described the bliss we felt--especially at festivals--as sort of a pre-aware infantile state. The path of Knowledge did not entail any knowledge at all, as it turned out. It was like heroin, a cheap bath in selfish dumb fake happiness.

The Kid has not aged well, has he? He used to be a chubby little Krishna cherub. Now he's like a toad in a suit. But, hey, I shouldn't dis his appearance. I'm 70 and no beauty myself.

His words I can judge, though, as a longtime reader and spiritual student. There is no there there. His website makes a big deal about his unscripted speeches. Well, yeah, you don't need a writer for the kind of drivel he deals in. It takes quite a grifter to pass off that kind of garbage as wisdom.

There were a lot of unscrupulous gurus washing up on the shores of America in the 70's, but most of them had something useful to say about meditation. Not Guru Maharaj Ji. The guy never spent an hour on a meditation cushion in his life. I feel like a sucker for haven been taken in by that jerk. Oh well. Water under the bridge.

But this Forum is useful for a lot of people for a lot of reasons. It seems as if kids of premies drop in now and then to figure out what happened to their parents (and to them). Interesting.

I excuse my drug-taking by saying "It was the 60's" and my cult-joining by saying "It was the 70's," but that's bullshit.

It seems as if cults are everywhere once again. Just look at the recent explosion of podcasts about cults.

And ex-Guru Maharaj Ji is still at it. He has enough hard-core followers to keep him supplied with expensive toys and liquor, and he gets all those stupid Chamber of Commerce plaques as proof of his Peace Ambassador status. I never knew it would come to this!