I always found Michael Dettmers' responses to questions very informative.  For those who don't know, Michael was Prem Rawat's top organizational official following the departure of his predecessor Bob Mishler.  For at least ten years Mr. Dettmers was able to view the unvarnished Prem Rawat - how he lived his own life.  It is not sheer coincidence that he ended up coming to the identical conclusions as Bob Mishler:  Here is a re-posting of Dettmers replying to La-ex and Joe:

La-ex:

Here are my answers to the questions in your post of November 12, 2000.

1. What do you think kept so many of us involved in such a devoted manner for so long? How could we, and especially the PAMS (who saw so much contradictory and hypocritical behavior) not see through so much of this sooner?

I believe that each person has to answer this question for him or herself. Speaking for myself, I already answered this question when I said that my position was a 24/7 occupation. I regularly put in 18-hour days and, even when I wasn’t working, I was always "on call." After being in this situation for years on end, my body and mind coupled to the environment. I simply didn’t have or take the time to reflect on what I was doing with my life in a general sense because I was so preoccupied with getting through the next tour, or completing the next project, or handling this or that problem. It was an all-consuming job that left little or no time for myself.

2. Wasn't there talk about maharaji's drunkenness and drug use, especially since it seemed so out of control, amongst people around him? Were there discussions amongst good friends about the hypocrisy of all this? And what to do about it? Didn't people feel guilty about going out into communities and talking it up for maharaji when they knew that in his real life he was so screwed up?

There was very little trust and openness among the premies around Maharaji. I suspect that very few considered themselves as good friends. Most were scared of losing their positions as there were literally dozens of premies waiting in the wings to replace them, and Maharaji never failed to remind people around him of that fact. Consequently, an atmosphere of fear and competition prevented people from really speaking what they thought or felt with each other in case their moment of indiscretion might get reported to Maharaji, costing them their positions.

My position was somewhat different than most of the premies around Maharaji. When Maharaji drank, he often offered me a drink as well. He also offered me cigarettes. Before I met Maharaji, I never smoked cigarettes. Within a year of being around him, I became addicted to cigarettes. In time, I began asking myself why was I smoking. Shortly thereafter I quit. I don’t think Maharaji liked that very much because he continued to offer me cigarettes which I politely declined. He had tried a couple of times to quit without success and I think my refusal to join him made him uncomfortable.

At parties and special events, Maharaji provided drinks, champagne, wine, cigarettes and dope for all of the x-rated staff. In this way, he co-opted those closest to him into a conspiracy of silence because we all got to participate, some more than others, in his secret.

3. Were you the only one to confront maharaji about his behavior? Did his wife confront him? Did he get counseling, or would he even listen to a therapist or counselor? What do you think is the main reason for his drinking problem?

I believe I am the only person who confronted him about his drinking. Marolyn was certainly in a position to do so, but she found it easier to join him in his drinking than to take issue with it. While I was around, he never got counseling about his drinking. You can re-read my posts about the San Yisidro conference to get an idea about his reactions to a form of counseling even though that conference was not organized to address his drinking problem.

In my post to Peter Howie yesterday I said that, in my opinion, his excessive drinking and profligate spending were desperate attempts to fill a void that, according to his own teachings, only knowledge can satisfy. In saying this, I am not advocating anything positive about knowledge. I am simply pointing out that Maharaji's himself behaved in a way that strongly suggests that he did not to believe nor practice what he preached.

4. When you said earlier that maharaji didn't seem to care about his work or his own life, what behaviors of his caused you to think this way? Did you ever have an in depth talk about this with him, as someone who cared about him?

Maharaji’s excessive drinking and his profligate spending as well as his abusive behavior especially when he was drunk led me to the conclusion that he did not care about his life or his work. When I confronted Maharaji about his drinking, I did so out of love and concern for him.

5. When you said that 'night after night' at the residence maharaji would be getting stoned with the premies, and that you have seen him 'countless' times inebriated at different places...Was this over a short period of time, like 6 months-one year, where he may have been in turmoil over a specific situation in his life, and then gave it up? Or was this behavior that has gone on continuously for years and years?

The behavior continued for years. It was not a periodic event.

6. Are there other former PAMS that you know that would shed more light on this situation? Would you contact them? I'm not recommending or requesting that you name them, or that they identify themselves on the forum, but I do feel that the more we know, the better off we are...

There are definitely many PAMS who could shed further light on this situation. I have spoken with some of them but, for the moment at least, they are unwilling to come forward.

Michael

- - - - - -

Joe,

When I became Maharaji’s personal business manager, he made it clear to me from the very beginning that I was to act at all times with utmost discretion, to maintain a very low profile, and to conduct his business affairs on a "need to know basis" only. If Marolyn was to be included in certain discussions, he would let me know, and he would define the boundaries of those discussions. Consequently, I was somewhat of an enigma, even around his residence. I did not engage in very many conversations with Marolyn and I had little contact with his children. I focused on my responsibilities and I kept my nose out of Maharaji's family matters. I say this so that you may understand why I am not the best person to answer some of the questions you have posed. I also agree with those who expressed the view that Marolyn and her children do not warrant the same kind of scrutiny as does Maharaji and I will bear that in mind as I respond to some but not all of your questions.

1. Did Maharaji ever consider divorcing Marolyn or she him?

I do not know if Marolyn ever broached the subject of divorce with Maharaji but I do know that Maharaji would never consider divorcing Marolyn because he was obsessed with the Eastern concern for "saving face." When Maharaji got married he did so without his mother’s consent even though he was still a minor. In fact, she did not even know of the marriage until after it took place. It was anathema to her that any of her sons marry outside of the Hindu tradition. To his mother, marrying a Westerner was tantamount to sacrilege. Thus, Maharaji’s marriage to Marolyn was the decisive act that forced the split up of the so called "holy family" and cleared the way for Maharaji to take full control of his mission, and that was the main reason he got married. He did not get married to obtain US citizenship. He would have gotten that without marrying Marolyn because he already had US permanent residence status and was eligible for citizenship in 1979. His marriage to Marolyn simply accelerated the process by a couple of years.

I’m sure that Maharaji was in love with Marolyn but that, in itself, was not necessarily a compelling reason to get married, especially as he was only 16 years old at the time. Before they were married, they carried on a secret love affair. I discovered this when Maharaji and his mother were touring in Canada in 1974. I had been instructed to use the ashrams for their accommodation because that is what his mother wanted. Upon arriving at the Toronto ashram, however, Maharaji asked me if I could arrange for him and his mother to stay at a hotel. Within an hour, they were comfortably ensconced in the Presidential suite of Toronto’s newest hotel. His mother was pissed, but he was delighted. He further requested that I make similar arrangements in the other cities. It was during that tour that I became x-rated so that I could also make arrangements for Marolyn who was secretly following the tour.

Several years later, when Raja Ji and his wife Claudia were contemplating a divorce, Maharaji did everything he could to prevent it from taking place, including the threat of financial ruin for Claudia and her children. Maharaji did not really care about the pain or difficulties that Raja Ji and Claudia were experiencing, or even about the potential adverse consequences of a divorce on their two children. Maharaji only cared about saving face. He did not want to give his mother and all of the Indian premies who had left him when the family split up to say "I told you so." It would be worse, as far as Maharaji was concerned, if he and Marolyn got a divorce. That is why I say that Maharaji would never contemplate divorcing Marolyn, at least while his mother was alive, which she was when I was still involved.

2. When Maharaji began having you and later others arrange for him to have sexual liaisons with premie women, where did they go? Are you aware of any premie women turning Maharaji down when he propositioned them?

During the time I handled such matters, Maharaji’s liaisons were conducted in hotels while he was on tour. In my limited involvement, no one turned him down, just like no premie declined to be x-rated when I presented the possibility. I don’t know any of the details of his relationship with Monica including whether or not he has set her up in a home or apartment.

3. When Maharaji suggested to you that he wanted to have sex with women not his wife, you said you thought it might be a good idea (as long as it wasn't with premies) because it might help Maharaji get in touch with his humanity. I think I can actually kind of understand what you mean by that, but can you explain further?

By 1985, I once again reverted to a belief that I had previously come to in 1976, namely that Maharaji would be more successful at spreading knowledge if he attempted to relate to others in a more natural and human manner. I was convinced that the perfect master – devotee paradigm was a huge barrier for most people to overcome in order to receive knowledge. I wanted him to get down off the throne and engage in authentic dialogue with people. I realized that he was indoctrinated at a very early age to embody the Perfect Master role as the truth, but I, nevertheless, hoped against hope that he would open up and re-assess his life. I based my hope on my observation that he was in obvious pain, what with his marriage difficulties, his alcoholism, not to mention his failing mission. In felt the time was right for Maharaji to make the shift. The conference at San Yisidro was part of my effort to bring it about.

When Maharaji told me that he wanted to experience other women, I thought it might be another opportunity to help him connect with his own humanity. In the end, as must be obvious to everyone, none of my efforts worked. He’s still playing the same sick game. He thinks he’s the lord and believes the whole world should humbly surrender and kiss his ass. Some premies agree as evidenced by his recent program in India. I heard from one of the attendees that he gave darshan to all of the Western premies who came early to do service. How does that jibe with your FAQ’s Élan Vital?

4. I assume Maharaji's affairs became common knowledge among the residence staff and probably the PAM community. Is that true?

When I was around Maharaji, his affairs were not common knowledge, even among the residence staff.

5. You said that Maharaji made it clear that it was not okay for Marolyn to have affairs outside the marriage, but it was okay for him to do so. How did he talk about that?

He didn’t really talk about it. He simply assumed it on the basis that he’s the master and everyone is supposed to do as he says, not as he does. Any rational person, however, would see his behavior for what it is – hypocritical.

6. Did Maharaji ever tell his off-color jokes in front of his kids, or in front of large groups of people?

I don’t know about telling off-color jokes in front of the kids. I remember an instructor conference in Texas in 1986 when he had a joke contest where participants got up on the stage and were judged on who told the best off-color joke.

7. Also, it appears that Maharaji's stage persona was very different from the way he was other times. Did Maharaji ever talk about the difference? Like did he think that he was at certain times the Perfect Master, and certain times Prem Pal Singh Rawat?

No.

Michael.