So true, Joe, so true, about the dilemna that premies find themselves in today....and this has gone on for the last 20 years or so, to the point that they just accept what rawat says, give it a half hearted try, and basically shrug their shoulders when nothing happens...

I find that when trying to look into cult propaganda, it's a bit like looking into statements by the government--most of the time the "real story" is hidden behind a "public story" that is fed to the rank and file premies, with a few honchos (the cult within the cult) really understanding the real story and how wierd and pathetic rawat really is...in the case of the honchos or anyone who gets anywhere close to rawat, they don't speak out because they don't want to lose their one and only chance to be around him...and he doesn't fail to remind them of that...

I know 2 people personally who finally got the chance to be around rawat after 30 years of pining away for the chance to do so....

One was a musician who is extremely screwed up emotionally, and he has had the chance to cry about his life with rawat which he wears as a badge of honor-he said that there is no way he will ever allow himself to doubt rawat or speak out about the wierdness, because he has waited most of his life for this chance. He has been told that once he makes it to the "top", the only place to go is down if he screws up...

The other guy got to do security at the rez, and finally admitted to a friend that his life was no better there than it was before, and in some ways worse, but he wasn't going to give up the position, just in case....he didn't know why he was staying, because it was so boring, but he was wishing and hoping for something or other to finally happen to make it all worthwhile...

Premies have been in this dilemna since rawat closed the ashrams, satsang ended, and the "video era" began....what was once similar to "witnessing" done by christians, and had some "juice' and aliveness to it, devolved into endlessly boring videos that premies were told they could not even talk about with the people they brought.....

David Smith toured the country for almost 2 decades giving his famous "violin" satsang to premies about how to invite people.....basically, Dave said that if he knew a violin virtuoso that was performing in town, he would invite people, but not "spoil" it, by telling them anything about it. Also, Dave would certainly never perform the viloin himself, as it would be far inferior to the virtuoso performance. So Dave actually did some "role playing" in our community in the 90's about this "violin" philosophy of his, because it seemed so weird to many of us.....a premie played a curious aspirant and Dave played the part of the premie inviting the aspirant, while being careful to never say anything to them....Dave made a complete ass of himself and people walked out shaking their heads, and they were rank and file devotees trying to be good premies and do the right thing in their mind....

In the end, there are no good answers to the real questions, which is one reason premies are so eager to avoid the past (stay in the present moment, where knowledge is happening) and avoid any type of intellectualy honest discussions (it's all in the experience, man, don't get caught up in the words...).....

The "double speak" is so typical of groups that have something to hide......and premies continue to buy it, because breaking the bubble would involve pain, and that's a tough one for most premies to deal with-it's one of the main reasons people got involved in the first place....