However sinister implies that there is something deceptive and hidden from the observer. Actually literally it means "on the left side". In olden days left-handers were met with fear and suspicion. Rawat has done many things that are indeed deceptive, deceitful and downright dishonest. That is the whole reason this forum even exists. If Rawat was forthright I wouldn't even be here. I've said that many times.

In that sense Rawat is sinister and if one is to take your explanation to heart, you are not. But let me ask you this. Why should anyone here believe what you have to say when you are so mistrusting of everyone else?

I think that it is extremely sad that SSB has destroyed your ability to trust in others and especially in yourself. I hope you can find a way to resolve this some day.

In a previous post about you I mentioned that I think that what underlies the cult phenomenon is something basic to human nature. The ability to have unswerving faith in a charismatic leader is very likely even a matter of survival in certain circumstances. In that sense you might say that the inclination to follow someone like SSB is an instinct in us. Probably the most valuable lesson I learned from my time with Rawat is how to tune my bullshit meter. You won't see me jumping at any more carpetbaggers any time soon.