I looked up the term trisomy - isn't that supposed to be quite unusual?  

My feeling is well I have this specific memory that comes up I am in my 50's and looking into my father's eyes and he isn't just triumphant in getting what he wants, he cannot help but show it, he is feeling such pleasure.  He can't hide it, he is enjoying causing hurt, his empathy was tuned that way. 

Shocking as it was to see, heart-wrenching the circumstance, it was validation, it was peace for me.  I didn't have to wonder if I could do anything different, he was what he was.  And I think it was the same for my mum, harrowing but peace for her too.

We are all one in the spirit we sang in that cult - not true.

So there he is at the end of his life, being looked after very well by the nurses, and I walk into the room.  His arms reached out to hug me.  It wasn't a voluntary act.  He was past being able to move his arms voluntarily, it was the underlying physical reality of his being.  We might not be one in the spirit but we are cut from the same cloth. 

One day at Amaroo, Rawat told the story of the red truck he saw in the store window, how he wanted it and his mother kept saying no but he ended up making her get it.  It was supposed to be encouraging us to be persistent but it was a real story, real feelings, he was showing us what he was like and rather disturbingly, it was setting off a big red flag in me.