Hey, thank you so much for your response - moving, colourful, thoughtful, honest. Yeah it's been a long weird trip for me, but fortunately I'm aware life IS a long weird trip. In the few days on this forum I swear I feel positive shifts. One thing I get now is the guru's amazing entitlement and absolute dismissal of minions outside his closed circle. And the sacrifice so many made (much more than me) just to get close to him. In the old days I had at least 2 premie friends who were always mentally ill anyway, and weren't treated right, they got confused and bang smash suicide both of them. I find some of the memories hard to bear. Right now I have a few old friends going to upcoming events on his tour of the UK, and I've already startled an old premie lady friend of mine with some new insights, I went over the top and got a bit foul mouthed and shocked her, then was ashamed of myself - she has to realise in her own time, you know, so I told myself off for trying to control her thoughts - so I'm chilling out again.
Reading the last parts of your post, I started thinking this is maybe more than just awakening to the guru brainwashing, but part of a loosely collective reaction to the general political/religious narcissistic control of our thoughts and spirit (I've always been a kind of idealist). We refuse to be turned ugly by ugly leaders.
