I know what you mean about the general 'waking up' theme. I felt similar things when I first left and still do to an extent. The whole world run by narcs? It's easy to see it that way sometimes. And here we were trying to be better people. He once said 'will knowledge make you a better person? No.' In retrospect why did i hang on so long after that and other uncomfortable truths that he sneered in my face?I get the wanting to say all the really uncomfortable truths to those who are stuck too. It's hard to just sit back and watch.
Luckily for me a friend who had seen through the facade fed me small tit bits of awareness little by little. It was also shocking to an extent and at times I felt bereft. As I realised I had invested so much in a scam.
I too said too much too soon to others that don't contact me now. I like to think it got in somehow and will continue to gnaw away until the damn breaks. Maybe they will visit here? maybe they will put their heads in the sand a bit longer? Whatever happens I can genuinely come from that place in myself now that always tried to reach for the highest and not be regurgitating some waffle from an idiot psychopath who's narc tendencies have run away with him.
You'll see as you read more on this forum that those minions in his inner circle suffered hugely from his very personal dismissal of them and the terrible mind control techniques he used, the gas-lighting, the lies and subterfuge, it has honestly astounded me what a terribly hard time some of those people have had. Looking in on the 'elite', those in his so called favour, it never seemed that way.
Yet often enough I was looking very closely at them all trying to detect his holy influence. Really almost every time I searched their faces for that spark of divine life being lived I couldn't see it, something was missing.
The cognitive dissonance was always so present that I didn't take on board all these realisations as they were happening. I was just trying to concentrate on the whirlpool of my own life and trying hard not to fall apart.
Now that the distance from DLM and all it's many faces as he tried to change like a chameleon with the times, and the true understanding of what was happening dawns on me bit by bit, I reprocess those memories with the facts in the equation and I am nurtured and supported by the truth, as unpleasant as it can be sometimes to admit that I have been a fool. But of the two of us, him and I, I see that he is the most foolish of all and as smart as he thinks he is, he will live to see his relevance and stature dwindle to it's right proportion. He'd better start budgeting for that.
