If someone here is exposing their inner processes, I don't believe it's so they can be torn down and reassembled in accordance with how I operate. I believe we all have a fundamental need to be heard. I think that is one of the reasons for the success of this forum. 

Under the subjugation of the ji I barely could hear myself from the din of cognitive dissonance. 

It's therefore important for me to write as it comes up. I have posted here because I am heard. It's healing. If I'm heard I can be vulnerable, maybe shift my point of view from blame to seeing what was missing from my side. Or visa versa if that's the balance things must take, if I'm just self flagellating out of habitual surrender to the wrong thing.

 If I'm not heard , I might defend my position in an effort to be understood. That position might be just a stepping stone in a long line of stones to step on to get me across the divide. It may take on unnecessary importance.

These are some of the dynamics I notice in my own communications. So there will be those that say i want to judge those that make judgements but that isn't so. I make judgements all day every day,the conclusion seems to rest in feeling at peace for want of a better word. I will wrestle with a thought until I am at peace with it. Some peoples actions or decisions upset me. I can only be at peace with that if I understand their free will, and my lack of authority or inclination to change that. There's a boundary of course a Suzie that will kick ass on the other side of there but as far as expressing oneself in an environment as unique as this one it behoves me to suspend my judgements of what people think or say or do and just let them be. we've all been through a lot