"He used to drink excessively and he had not learned to manage the stress of his situation so consequently he suffered from essential hyper-tension which is a psychological high blood pressure condition, which was very dangerous for his health and well-being - he used to have fainting spells sometimes because his blood pressure would be so high and he would just black out. Things like this to me were indicative of some deeper problems."

"There were people who were being essentially psychologically and economically exploited. And I would bring these things to his attention and he wouldn't want to deal with it. He would put it off for weeks, months - sometimes just not deal with it at all - and he would go and get drunk instead, almost on a daily basis. He would rise in the morning and by early afternoon on a typical day he was already drinking. And he drank heavily, not just beer or wine - he drank cognac, and he drank it to the point that he was stewed every evening. There was more than one occasion where we had to pick him up and carry him to bed after he had passed out."

"But nonetheless a lot of what I had to do had to go through him - because he would make demands on the financial resources of Divine Light Mission, and of the premies, that had far-reaching consequences that I would have to talk to him about, and he usually never cared. He never cared to know the consequences of his actions. He knew what he wanted and that was it. He wanted it, and I was to figure out some way to get it for him."

"And so, anyway, it ultimately all came to a point for me. Y'know when ... after he had ... like I said, he had degenerated physically to the point that he was having these fainting spells and we had had it diagnosed and found out that there was no physical cause for it, it was psychosomatic. It was just obvious that he was living with too much stress - he hated to hear about the premies - I felt that this burden of playing God for people was killing him as well as being injurious to the premies."

"It's not just a secret how he lives, OK, in the sense that he lives a very opulent lifestyle. What he does in that opulent lifestyle is what's hidden. The fact that he's not ... that really his life is the antithesis of what he teaches, and requires from his devotees - that's the part that he hides. But the fact that he has all these material belongings ... well, he used to try and hide that too - y'know, he would want us to cover it up in Divine Light Mission. He would find ways to charge off things that we'd bought - for him - to various Divine Light Mission departments so that they could be hidden within our financial status."

"But he lives a very, very opulent lifestyle and he just really just doesn't ... to me it's greed - y'know, I feel sorry for him because he got programmed into this role, I don't see how there can be a happy ending for anybody involved, including him - ultimately. Because he's not even happy now, that's the irony of the whole thing, I mean ... consumerism is like a disease with him. He no sooner has the object of his desire, whether it's a new Maserati or Rolls Royce or whatever - Aston Martin - he's thinking about the next thing: it's got to be a helicopter, it's got to be a Grummond Gulfstream 2, it's got to be this or that. I mean ... he just craves all of these symbols of wealth that, once he has them, he can't even use them. I mean, what can you do? Even when I was there - and I'm sure it's gotten worse since then - there was not enough garage space to keep all of his cars - and we had like six garages, OK?"

"We all fool ourselves to a certain extent. OK? It's not that they are fooled. It's that they fool themselves. Over and over and over again it's defining a reason to believe in spite of everything else. And we used to go through this with Marolyn all the time. Because ... she, in the early years, was very much ... I mean, it was a shock to her to find out what Maharaji was really like after she married him - it was tremendous adjustment."

". . . the impact of what he was doing ... was having on the lives of these other people: premies who were living on the edge of destitution - really out of the result of policies that he dictated. Ashram premies who were becoming socially and culturally inept and the victims of economic exploitation just because of his gluttonous appetite. These kinds of things I knew about as well, so I was doubly concerned."

"And we confronted ... Marolyn was part of the whole push, in 1975, to get Maharaji to change things, OK?. But also I've seen how Maharaji manipulates her ... I mean, ... he's, ... he's a powerful person, he can influence people, particularly at that ... I mean, if you're indebted to the extent that Marolyn is ...