Thank you very much for sharing that was really useful for
me and I think for many others.

I realized that leading a double life is actually requested
by mr rawat in many ways from the children of premies who are asked to become
his followers by the family environment at very young age.

Premie children usually grow up in a double life that
creates a psychological split in the forming of their selves, since they know
both the “hard-core” religious side of the cult, and the “propagation” fake
talk they have to present to the rest of the world, and the world is divided
into “open” people to the “message” and the ones who are not open yet and we
need to lie to them about many aspects of the religious beliefs about rawat in
order to help them become ready and not be critical about rawat.

Of course we were told not to be cirtical about rawat ourselves from day one, and
consider as victims of their conservative minds or of the illusion of this
world, all other people who saw rawat as a rich conman who exploits
brainshwasehd followers (because the majority of people around us who were not
premies, that is what they – reasonably – believed, even without having done
research on the internet or aware of the destructive effects of cults etc.)

Premie children have also children now and they grow up the
same way.

I am aware of a specific case of a premie child who know
became a mother herself, and keeps posting her happiness that her minor
children are attending mr rawat’s events.

But these events are part of a larger brainshwasing system
in function for years by this organization and the "message" to this children is to become mr rawat's followers and nothing else no matter what the cult says..

Part of the brainwashing system in place is definitely that
these children are manipulated into not being critical of mr rawat and trusting
him as God on earth, not just a simple teacher or father figure, there is no
comparison to other kind of figures of influence in a child’s life, the parents
do present to the child that Indian guy in Malibu as God on earth, all the premies I know
that raise their children as premies believe rawat to be supernatural being to
say the least.

This indoctrination to see rawat as god on earth from a very
young age makes it extremely hard to become critical of him and always feel “under”
him in an emotional level.

However, I do think that premies who became his students at
any age would bare the same psychological effects if they really become
devotees, since when becoming devotee of rawat one becomes as vulnerable as a
little child anyways.

To trust a moral man like he is a Divine being, is
something the other children of my age coudnt not relate to. And as a grown up I have a hard time explaining this to people who dont have similar experiences. It affects the core of the forming of our personalities, it's closer to psychosis probably than anything else relatable to explain how deeply it distorts our worldview.

Other
children laughing at me at school because I had a Guru for me to be honest was
not an issue, the reason being that I led a double life and told about the Guru only
lies and more lies. So I knew they would laugh at me so I didnt tell those, I talked to the "open" ones, and trying to fool people around me all the time to make them accept rawat as god feels like a very unhealthy scope of life for a child... But yes, Propagation was part of being mr rawat's devotee so premie children learn to lie about an unknown to them guy, trust him more than authorities, more than anyone really...

That was horrible to have to lie for sake of God from so
young, creates a person who then as adult premie might want to continue the lie
because it is very hard to admit the truth either to the people deceived and
propagated “knowledge” to, or behave arrogantly and aggressively when they told
us that this guy is a sociopathic cult leader, many years ago...