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the corraltions between christianity and Hindi guru cults are astonding .Good things and truths get really twisted and with good intensions on our parts we got and get used.I know many catholic X premies . with the native americans I see it more as an agraian pre-industrial society clashing against hunter gatherer societies , Religion just got in the mix and twisted .
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The mystery masked man (Guru Maharaji) was smart
He got himself a Tonto (Premies)
'Cause Tonto did the dirty work for free
But Tonto (Ex-Premies) he was smarter
And one day said Kemo Sabe
Kiss my ass I bought a boat, I'm going out to sea
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I have seen him in concert several times. I even had one of my ex premie flashback epiphany moments at one of his concerts...
Since the cult I tend to fear large crowds especially if they get all hand wavy. Really sets off alarm bells. But worse almost is that I have a pathologic desire to sit up close...like VERY close...or I am consumed with feelings of envy and sort of like not being good enough to be close. But good OL Lyle was playing at the Santa Barbara County Bowl and we decided to make a weekend of it in Santa Barbara. I went to Blockbuster to buy tickets....I tell them I want best seat I can get...but concert is like in a week. He smiles at me and pleasantly says he has two long seat in the computer. Long seats? This must be where the bongos used to have to sit. But I buy them. I am bummed as a friend of ours is going and she didn't have long seats. As we get to the beautiful open air theatre I am still obsessing about why I have to be stuck with the long seats. But Lyle Lovett crowds are mellow...there will be no equivalent of Lyle Ki Jai so I can cope. We get to check in and the guy gives me and my husband these pink bracelets. He says we need them because we have LAWN seating. LAWN seating that had just opened the day I hit blockbuster cause show was sold out.....LAWN seating....I mean like Lyle Ki Jai! I go from pouty to ecstatic in an instant. We are three rows from Lyle and his Large Band. The show was AMAZING. And the guy may not be that good looking but damn is he tall....and he can sing. We needs an Icon for Susan takes a bow her tale is over....anyone else afflicted with these things about crowds, concerts and seating after DLM?
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I was reading journeys and one girl was remembering a freind that committed suicide .Not only was there a number a Catholics following M ,but two suicides of people I knew personally and one that I knew of a guy into Hindi somthing while at an estate sale. I was close to the one premie but we had lost everyday contact ,it was a catalst to go off on my own as the asharms closed and the communnity more or less was not meeting anywhere .Quess having high expectations maybe part of those suicides , I wish I could console the journeys person but I do not know her or her freinds , I do not want to be morbid but dose anyone else think there was an unusaull amount of related suicides ? In my limited experince of people I have known 2 are premies 1 eastern hindi somthing I did not know 1 I heard of freind of family but I did not know My first wife remmarried and calls me 15 yrs later after her husband OD ed after their divorce an X girlfreind of mine her X OD ed after their divorce Premei =lover so the only 2 people I accually knew face to face that commited suicide were Lovers of GMJ strange Dose anyone have better statistics or related painfull experiences or imput ?
Modified by geo at Tue, Jul 25, 2006, 18:00:16
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Geo,This subject has come up before, and it seems most ex-premies know a premie who committed suicide. It seems a little callous to count them, and posters may not want to publicly name them, but it seems to me obvious that if someone is led to believe that there is no life to live away from Knowledge, and they find they cannot practice Knowledge, then there are few logical options open. John.
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I did not mean to be calose ,My freinds suicide hit me very hard I was tring to compare how broken love like in a marrige with broken love in premei dom effects people . I did not name names ,at the time of my freinds suicide I could not talk to my wife about it becuase she was not a premei and felt like it would brimg up GMJ and K which I swore not to talk about ,Fellow premies were no help in talking about it , and that made it worse , I resolved it it was a long time ago I'll drop it
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Geo, It really is something we've discussed a fair bit over time. I knew several suicides in the early days, at least four, perhaps five, in the Vancouver community alone in the early '70s. One guy in particular, Dave Wener, came to me for help the day before. He was freaking out because he couldn't keep his doubts at bay. I reminded him that that was just the mind and not to listen to it. He hung himself the next day. Satsang continued as if nothing happened while Gary Ockendon, our community coordinator, slipped out quietly to identify the body. Dave's family were never told anything. In fact, when I met with them several years ago in Montreal I had to persuade his brother that Dave wasn't murdered. I don't have any problem talking about this and I know his family doesn't either. Like I said, Dave was just one of a few I knew. The mind, doubts, salvation, confusion .... tricky stuff for young men and women in the best of circumstances. Anyone with a real psychiatric disturbance, syndrome or sensitivity wouldn't have a chance.
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maybe this suicide info without names could be on EPO site more to warn people interested inGMJ ,I thouhgt Iwas kinda the only one that had this experince I did not know it to be widespread except for that one journeys excert that really hit home to me . obviously a lot of factors evoled in thier minds as to why they commited suicide,but it is the no talking about it among the communnity that turned me off,some of us that left talked about it some and not everyone that was a premie did not feel you could see it in them
Modified by geo at Tue, Jul 25, 2006, 18:55:21
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I like your idea Geo of warning people who come to EPO to find out more,about the suicides but I don't know how it would best be done as it would be hard to name the victims without the permission of their families.Maybe there is a general warning there already? Sir Dave ( a long time forum poster) told me recently of the suicide of a premie mother and her young adult son. These were people I was very close to in my ardent premie days and had met at programmes until relatively recently.I was so sad and shocked. Sir Dave also told me that he thought Livia had told him.So if you are reading Livia please could you email me as I would like to talk about this. JHB explained very concisely some of the reasons for these suicides. There is also the idea that we have "surrendered" our lives which can prevent us from intervening in a pro-active way to change negative situations in our lives which can end up driving us to suicide.There is also the disappointment when a tragedy or something very bad happens.....why didn't the Lord save us...why did he allow it to happen?That kind of stuff....... I could go on..... I'm sorry to hear about your friends too,Geo.
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yeah found the best of forum thread on EPO thanx
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