I grew up in the 1950's, in the middle of Kansas.  My first formed opinion of the Beyond was simple but a bit confused, namely that God and his son Jesus were heavenly and they were manifested here on Earth each year in the form of Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.  The Tooth Fairy came in somewhere as well, in a minor role.  The Bible was the Book of God.

When I was in the second grade, I had a mystical experience of the beauty of the world.  It happened on a gray day in November.  It was blissful and peaceful.

I turned athiest at 16.  My neighbor friend, Mike, and I talked about it in my family's blue station wagon in 1968.  He told his mother who in turn told my mother.  My mother asked me if I was an athiest as if it were some kind of scandal. 

In college I took LSD and unexpectedly lost my identity but remained alive.  I momentarily undertood stuff, like the fact that the universe is a manifestation of God's thinking.  I had to question my atheism at that point.  I read a lot about Eastern mysticism and took a mantra, Ah-eem.

The Guru Maharaj Ji was being touted on college campuses as the revealer of Truth.  I thought I would try out his meditation.  The premies in my town were quite attractive.  I joined the cult, following the typical scenario.  I pursued the Beyond for many years.  Later I discovered that my efforts had not transformed me and I suspected my guru was a nut case.  I decided to go it alone.

Last weekend I had a little time off without any pressing engagements and I felt that familiar questioning about the mystery of life, the same questioning I have always had from ever since I can remember.  I sat for awhile, eyes closed, thoughts going quiet, feeling a receptivity to That-Which-Is or whatever term you might prefer.  I was not seeking an enlightenment, just my own receptivity, a distinction which might confuse some people but which I find very important.

My current impression, most pertinent to this Forum, is that my inner peace is contingent upon my essential awareness that was fully with me back in the second grade.  I think it is important to NOT attach this part of myself to any guru or philosophy or religion.   I believe that Rawat's teaching is partly authentic and then goes wrong when he restricts the mystery of life to his own particulars.  I realize there are people like Jonx who find Rawat's particulars to be appealing.   It is my opinion that the appeal is just that, an appealing presentation, much like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.  I believe that Jonx  would be better off, and more authentic, to branch out on his own.  Why?  Because that is his actuality anyway.

But setting aside for a moment the differences of viewpoint between premies and ex-premies, my point is that we all are in the same boat even if we don't think we are and all we can really do in regard to the mystery of life is to be receptive to it!