Yes, for me, the remembered high associated with the practice of knowledge, or seeing M, or the group high I associated with events, pales in comparison to the feeling I now have of living in reality. Being disassocited with life on earth, in the way of trying to "meditate away" stressful or uncomfortable feelings or mis-communication with other people instead of dealing with the issues or with people directly, started to isolate me from personal growth and being able to be happy in "this world."

Now that I am free, and letting go of the programmed concepts ingrained in me from 30 years of satsang and listening to ways of explaining my existence that separated me from people and from reality, I feel joy in all the ups and downs and lessons of learning to effectively communicate with people, respecting other people's points of view and celebrating the diversity of personalities and viewpoints that I encounter in my daily life. God is in the details of living in reality. It feels clean and grounded. I love it.