..the sheer length of time I was happy to be a elite cultist: 25 years in my case! 25 Years !!! The significance of this huge chunk is now beginning to signal stuff to me. Among the stirrings are:

There are obviously some very deep human forces involved in this guru thing. Some deep personality/lifetime issues that gather around this unassuming, tacky, culty centre.

The Getting Out process uncovers  "deep"(once again) and far reaching perspectives on the worldwide religious thing at large.This forum covers them brilliantly.

Also politics, personality manipulation, mass psychology, global manipulations and universal folly of all kinds become credible and to some extent more transparent as I uncover the extent and focus of my own blind spot. The glazed eye, the mindless action. The certainty of the committed is all quite close to home.

Resolution.This is urgent! Patterns of thinking that got me into the cult experience must be some how examined, then hopefully enhanced, extended transformed or dropped. The proportion of lifetime that I was prepared to abdicate to cult complacency is so large, that it signals loudly  to me now  that these mental processes are hugely, HUGELEY tenacious and pervasive.Evaluating the mind with the mind is risky, but having left the task for so long in the hands of a defective, alluring "master" self evaluation is long over due. So as I say, I presume a slow learning curve.

Permit me to add:  some "acknowledgement"  of a kind must go to the warm sludge of K and its excitable, fast taking, organgrinder for the 25 year sleep from which I am now able to wake up active. This thought consoles me when I consider for how long I allowed myself to be wooed. See it as a kind of plea for mercy from the spirits of my youth if you like!

Whoops! It was the only game in town for me, and I bought in in a big way.so absolutely no time to lose for me now.

Ancient quote: "Man who gets up late has to run all day"

Love

bryn