How Maharaji rationalises his being Satguru with the obvious failure of his mission to spread Knowledge to the world, I don't know.

I personally think that it is impossible to get inside M's head, and I am not sure I would want to even if I could.

To have been adored as the Perfect Master, to have everyone you are in contact with think that you are God or God-like, from the age of 8 for nearly 40 years, must addle anyone's brain. In other words, he has been the recipient of an environment of absolute devotion all his life; I don't think any of us can comprehend what that has done to his mind.

Couple that with the fact that he is a Narcissist, and has a well-developed skill at hiding his true feelings, and you get a mixture that is, shall we say, unusual!

As to your last question, I don't know why I was expelled from the inner circle. The inner circle was constantly moving and reshaping, so maybe there was nothing specific to it. There is an inner inner-circle, of perhaps 5 people, which has been in place for approx 20 years, but for everyone else it is a roundabout or carousel of divine favor followed by expulsion into the outer darkness!