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Two nights ago I found a definition of cults which feels right on:
"A cult," says Thurman, ..." is defined as a religion-based community where the leader is given complete authority over his followers and is not accountable for his actions."
Around 1992/1993 I believe, I met John Horton in Malibu. Even though he was solely a general M.D., he offered to give me psychotherapy counseling sessions. Please note I did not ask for those. He came along with the idea. I was under lots of stress. Raising my young children alone, no support or rather its contrary, extreme financial hardship. Fighting for survival, hosting premies who were coming from all over the world to do free labour on Rawat' s mega mansion.
Right from the first " session", he went on about his own problems. Sexual in nature. And became sexual with me as well. I am a survivor from sexual abuse.
Lots of shame is associated for me with this story. It went on for quite a while.
Horton is a real sicko. And I can say it was a repeat of what I did experience as a kid. It escalated to the point where he admitted to me that he, from age 13, had been raping his young brother. He served this as an explanation for his terrible behaviour with me.
Of course all this did not alleviate the stress I was under. It was a very hard time. I was feeling very bad. Henzelik, Horton's colleague was covering up for him and attempted to give me anti- depressants, which I refused to take.
Then the pair was set up in a new medical office in Agoura Hills, with Rawat' s benediction and financing. With mission to be the good doctors of the premies in this area. I remember stopping by for the inauguration and leaving right away as I felt like puking.
In 1994, I did enter a complaint against Horton with the Medical Board of CAlifornia. This was received seriously. I was called back for an appointment. Unfortunatly by then, overwhelmed by the situation which included heavy domestic violence, I was already in Miami, on my way out of the country.
Too much is sometimes just too much.
Fast forward a bit.... I ended up very far. In the Indian Ocean. I did write to Marolyn with whom I did have exchanges and contacts while in Malibu Telling her the whole story and asking her how come her husband did harbour such sickos to be doctors of the premies.
She did answer with a letter. Stating clearly she did not want to be bothered. That herself had suffered a rupture of anevrism.
Still she could write quite clearly and said R was aware of Horton being a problem but could not get rid of him...
She concluded stating that premies who left / doubted maharaji were real " assholes"
This letter was posted on ex.premies.org around 1996 I believe. Not by my decision really. But I told an ex who was very active on the site about it. He asked me permission to post it and I agreed.
Modified by Inis at Tue, Jun 13, 2017, 03:44:41
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Now, I would want to post this letter though.Which is a proof of the lack of integrity, lack of concern of R and cie for their followers, one of which I was , and an ardent one at that, who gave away lots of my time and energy.
The letter I stored away. Is not with me at this time. Maybe there is a way to get it from EPO. I would not know how.
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A long time ago, I saved the link to a Marolyn letter, but that link is now broken on EPO. It's a letter that was posted in September of 1999. Does that ring true as the time period when you released it to an ex-premie? It was posted by Jean-Michel.
I was able to open the file when I downloaded it.
Below is the link to the forum 4 archives. The letter is in Archive 3, and under "html parts" it's in "C." The dates are September 6, 1999 through September 19, 1999. If you download the whole zip file under those dates, the file will open up into five small files. It's the third file down. Jean-Michel posted it in two parts. I think I'm being confusing, but I hope this helps.
http://www.ex-premie.org/pages/archive2.htm
For JHB:
This is the link to the "C" file under forum 4 archives that's broken.
http://www.ex-premie.org/archives/archive.cgi?arch=f4a03c
Cynthia
Modified by Cynthia at Tue, Jun 13, 2017, 08:17:00
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Yes Cynthia, that is it. Thank you so much for digging it out. This letter was indeed posted by Jean Michel in 2 parts. There is also a revised version, shortened, but it is much better to read the whole thing. Geez! It gives me shivers to read this again.
All the comments that came with it! Jean Michel was indeed quite courageous to brave all the fire thrown a him as a result of posting. Fortunately quite a few exes saw thru the BS satsang used in this letter to drawn the fish.
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I just found your original transcript - originally edited by you (your name is omitted, that's all).
I can mail it to you if you want, or simply post it here ?
As you wish
All the best
J-M
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Inis, I'm so sorry you to go through all that bad business.
Do you want me to post a link to the letter?
Modified by eDrek at Tue, Jun 13, 2017, 22:05:16
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Yes thank you.That would be great.
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Inis, thank you for allowing us to share this. At the time, as you will read in the thread, it was a huge thing.
Related link: The Letter
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Hi !!
I'm sure I do have a backup of the scan of your original letter somewhere ...... and I'm going to do some search !!
How are you by the way ?
(For those who don't know, I'm that evil ex.........)
But I won't post it before you read it and agree, of course .....
JM
Modified by Jean-Michel at Tue, Jun 13, 2017, 12:27:10
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Hi Jean Michel,
Yes you can post the letter as you did then. I mean edited off my family' s names as it was. That would be great thank you!
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Hi, wow, I read your post a few times. What a horrible time you have had. Being abused and ignored on all sides, while you were reaching out, with love and need, to others, especially to the guru. You have my empathy times 100 and kind thoughts to help you on your path. This Horton guy? Words fail me, and he is still on the go? I would be interested to read Marolyn's letter - where to find it? Anyone reading your post would surely drop rawatism immediately. I feel your anger, but please be kind to yourself and grow anew with the rest of us here.
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Hi Innis,
WOW! Words fail me. I am .....wow, unable to wrap my head around what hell you went through. I remember the talk years ago on the Forum about Horton being a scum sexual abuser, but I didn't remember the details. Terrible!
KARMA HAS NO EXPIRATION DATE!
While I was in the ashram, I was interviewed to be one of the cooks at the residence. I am EVER so grateful not to have landed in that cesspool.
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I'm so sorry you went through that horrific abuse by "Dr." John Horton. It was never your fault. And it is horrific. He was preying upon you for his own gratification and then had the gall to come up with the excuse that he was sexual predator from his early teens. It's obscene. He's obscene.
I'm so angry on your behalf, because Horton used his positions of power both as a doctor and as someone in the inner circle of the cult, and deliberately hurt you. It's criminal on a few levels, plain and simple. One has to wonder how many people he preyed upon during his long career.
What's coming into my head right now are expletives that I know I should not write in this post.
I had one interaction with Horton at the Broadripple in Miami Beach. I was towards the end my stint at DECA because I was nearing physical exhaustion and started having severe headaches. So I went to the "house" doctor, Horton. He gave me anti-depressants, saying that they had a dual purpose of helping with headaches. I took them for about a month and then stopped. At the time I wouldn't have said it, but I thought Horton was the worst doctor I'd ever seen as a patient. I thought he was an untalented quack. His demeanor always made me uncomfortable.
And shame on Marolyn Rawat for blowing you off -- it's no excuse that she had just been ill.
Thank you for your courage, Inis. Talking about this stuff is difficult. You're a strong woman. It was never your fault.
Love to you,
Cynthia
Modified by Cynthia at Tue, Jun 13, 2017, 07:41:48
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Continuing story lines..... I lived in the DC community for many years. John Horton was an ashram house mate of mine as well as the resident MD and pseudo authority on all things Mind-Body. Although he appeared level headed and steeped in medical tradition, there were obvious extremes that influenced him. His medical practice dissolved due to a questionable scandal involving his premie MD partner. John escaped scrutiny by shipping off to another city.
I am very sorry that you had to endure this Inis, bizarre and incomprehensible stuff. What's ironic is that Dr John used to counsel me on the merits of avoiding relationships...
And I have not mentioned this to date on EPO, but while living at the Broad Ripple, Jag-Deo used to invite me up to his suite to engage in massage therapy sessions. This never escalated into any sexual encounters, but seemed extraordinarily weird at the time.
I was in a vulnerable place then, recovering from a kidnapping/deprogramming event. Predators have a sixth (sick) sense when scanning crowds for victims. He ALSO counseled me on avoiding the temptations of the flesh.
And these were the people we looked up to ?!?
THIS IS WHAT A CULT LOOKS LIKE UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL, make no mistake.
Modified by Manincar at Tue, Jun 13, 2017, 17:50:14
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Dr John was considered to be a cool premie doctor in the DC cult community in the 70's. I think his premie medical partner was a Dr Bob (something) who later was convicted of sexually abusing his female patients possibly thru hypnotic means. Birds of a feather?
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Hi Inis,
I am so sorry to hear that, awful. Horton sounds horrible - raping his younger brother when he was a teenager is his excuse for his adult behaviour?
And then I went and read the letter in the archives. what an appalling story about Marolyn herself is written into her letter. awful. someone said she had battered wife syndrome - goodness, battered and deep fried!
good for you to bring this out into the open, wishing you all the best. xox
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" battered and deep fried"
That' s a good one Lesley! Made me laugh.
Thank you for your posts!
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A horrible experience you endured. The cult was a world that monsters like this guy could use to find victims. The cult was like a miniworld where being a doctor or a mahatma gave an abusive individual power with little scrutiny, as long as the sicko was useful to Rawat.
I know something about how much worse it is when you are lied to, told what happened didn't happen, and made to feel you are doing something wrong by speaking the truth. The whole cult is sick from the top down and sickos thrive in Rawat's little safe haven.
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Hi Inis, I read your post last night and was so disturbed by it that I had to sleep it off before I could reply. So sorry for what happened and you must be going through a lot to first dig this up from inside yourself, and then put it out here.
That takes raw courage and I'm proud of you and admire you for doing that. It might feel like a big open wound right now with inexplicable moments of profound relief wrapped in layers of pain. But you are the victim here and posting about it may provide some well needed retribution. I'd suggest taking your time with this and don't feel the need to reply to everyone. We understand completely!
I had numerous encounters with the notorious Dr John and at first I was deluded into thinking he was some kind of anointed saint. The rationale was that if he was Rawat's Doctor, he just be somebody special. Basically to be responsible for the care of the Lord's holy body; now that seemed to indicate some serious credibility!
But underneath it all, he seemed really weird, very aloof, and in retrospect; just plain full of himself. And he did see himself as some kind of psychotherapist with no boundaries or limits on how he practiced his "expertise."
I had one specific experience with him in Amaroo 97'. It involved a serious health matter with my family and Rawat was involved and knew all about it. He assigned Horton to provide oversight and advise and it turned out to be an absolute disaster. But I do remember the great Dr John, sitting in a tent, a small drool dribbling from the corner of his mouth as he gazed off into some alternate etherial universe searching for a cosmic answer to a medical issue..... unbelievable what's at the heart of the cult once the curtains are peeled back.
Modified by jasper at Wed, Jun 14, 2017, 06:21:51
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You got it right here Jasper. And I do appreciate your understanding. And the support of all of you here who are sending it my way.
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Dear Inis,I'm desperately short on time, but could not let a single more minute pass before I reach to you. I'm sending you the kind of hug that would almost suffocate your inner child...
I'm deeply sorry for the road you've traveled, and deeply relieved that you found your way here and the survivor voice that will heal.
I'm gearing up to read the letter...preparing for the rage it will surely ignite...for now though...
I know you know this, but I believe you can never hear it enough...it wasn't your fault.
You didn't deserve it.
I feel you...your pain and your strength...and the massive healing coming your way just for having shared.
I myself am on pain killers for my stupid back, so will hold you in my dreams and tackle the letter tomorrow.
Sleep well, love, G
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Hugs to you Genny.I do receive the support you are sending my way and gladly accept it 
Sorry your back is so painful you do have to take painkillers. Hope it is temporary.
xoxoxo
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Hi Inis and thanks for posting this crucial information, I'm really sorry, this must have been a profoundly troubling time for you.I understand how exposing and vulnerable it must be to post re abuse. And no you did not create your own situation here, you found yourself simply in a situation that was skewed in the favour of a predator. Not for ever though and your pertinent questions to Marolyn and M are important questions that cannot be swept under the rug and left there. You made strong choices and continue to do so in favour of yourself and in favour of Truth in general. From what I understand in 1994 the complaint against Horton couldn't go further as you had taken your leave of the situation and the country. You wrote to Marolyn. The reply is a testimony to the state of mind as a premie. So much flowery justification for non participation in anything 'real', so much story line re how the within stuff somehow gets to cancel out all the other stuff if we just stick our heads in the sand a bit longer. I can see the depths of cult illusion all through it. It is ludicrous to an extent.
Yes Marolyn had even less capacity to cope with stress or conflict than before. A 3 year path of healing ahead for her at that point. Yet I doubt if hse had come to the full conclusion of her reply on her own, ie;without consultation to he husband ( who abandons her on a regular basis btw) However anyone that knows the inner workings of a bonafide cult member ( let alone cult leaders wife) knows that the capacity to deal with life in a responsible and empowered way, knowing right from wrong, taking action where necessary,that capacity is already bound and gagged years ago. any medical emergency is just going to reinforce the attitudes about stress and learned helplessness, surrender, semi religious nonsense, it's all in his control on one hand, and on the other, our semi-divine master just doesn't know how to get rid of him?
More like how to do it without implicating himself, and/or bringing up the dead and buried jagdeo scandal among other things?
More like John Horton knows enough to cause even more public scandal for others if he cares to.... How convenient the complaint didn't get any further....
John Horton was recently seen on Tv in an australian expose on 60 minutes or a program similar to it. About a year or so ago? He was along side Kay McKinnon spouting cult speak in defence of the event they were getting ready for at Amaroo.
How confounding for the premies....they are not to glean any information about Prem Rawat from those who either practise his techniques (according to M) or those who don't (according to Marolyn) ....and what about the creatures he keeps on the payroll?
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Thank you for your posts SuzyQ!
And for this information that Horton is still in action. Murky business really. Rawat keeping someone like him around. Knowing too much or not... it says it all about htis cult.
Awful that people seeking help, answers and spiritual development still do come to such a mafia group.
On an even more basic level, besides the fact Horton is a twisted predator, I can testify in echo to previous posts of same opinion, that he is a lousy M.D. During the last " event " I ever went to, in Delhi ashram, I came down with an intense version of Delhi belly. During a talk. Went over to the medical tent. Noone was there. Not a single person. Horton and Henzelik showed up after the talk was over. By then my condition was in full blast, going out from both ends. It is standard procedure in such cases, I know because I had 2 more such occurences since, to inject anti-vomitif so that medecine administred is not thrown up right away. Horton procedeed to give me that shot. Which strangely turned out to be extremely painful. The substance there created intense ongoing pain in my buttock. Some 20 mns later as the vomiting had not stopped, Hanzelik said..oh That was a mistake this was the wrong product...and went on giving me another shot on the other side!
High five to this glorious pair! Again, this is a standard procedure performed in India in such cases.
Modified by Inis at Sat, Jun 17, 2017, 23:51:59
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Yes given the skill set is lacking on top of E V E R Y T H I N Gstill in 'service' I'm not impressed
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It seems the 'trainings' could not impart any ethics to the organisation.Of course not, given the core is so rotten.
Inis, I was thinking about your efforts to take it to the top in writing to Marolyn and how maybe because it is a 'family business' it is, as you said, like the mafia
I was thinking about workplace culture and the laws and paperwork associated with it. I was thinking this is pretty serious on so many levels. Thinking how there was that culture of putting our heads in the sand. There was this wave of apparent corporatisation of tprf or something. There were trainings galore and things like 'job descriptions'. There was the 'need to know basis', oh they embraced that one alright.
So the culture was just reinforced, there was no transparency and so there was no ability to change, nor will to. Endemic rot. I wonder if they have a shot for that...
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