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Hello All, I’m in touch with many of us that
left GMJ, most of them leaving a long time ago. I was recently corresponding
with one such dear, old friend and we were discussing the Forum and why I
participate. He wrote the following that I enjoyed and thought might be
of interest to others. And so I asked
and he granted me permission to post the following (pending edits to make it
a bit more anonymous):
When I received your message, I
pondered how I had processed my transition. In retrospect, there were a
few important avenues that allowed me to move on - and I do feel comfortable in
myself that I have moved on, but who knows what lurks in the dark caverns?
(“Only the shadow knows,” if that old radio program, from way, way before your
time prompts any memories.) Truth is, I went through the process
very intimately and openly and for a considerable time (years really) with a
number of old ashram buddies with whom I am still close, allowing, even
encouraging me to explore and express the depths of it - from theological,
social and personal experiences and perspectives. That’s a very smart
group of guys and for years it was a subject of our ongoing sharing. Second, I wrote and journaled about
old memories and old feelings I had during the GMJ days, reflecting on what
they meant, how I responded and why, and how I feel now, both about my
thoughts, feelings and actions of the times, and what I learned from them and
the choice I make now to move through them and move on. Thirdly, and perhaps most
importantly, I truly never felt much angst, anger or blame about my many years
in the ashram. I always held a healthy dose of, if not doubt, a
connection to a lifetime of explorations, reading and experiences on my way
leading to and even during my GMJ days. I don’t think I ever had one
ounce of blame aimed at him. I knew that it was always my choice to
follow his path; and though while recognizing the incredible structured system –
not doubt developed not so much by him, but over millennia of teachers and
cultures, that corralled us down a chute, like cattle being led to slaughter –
I did recognize it for what it was. Perhaps I had the benefit of being
slightly older than many coming at that time and the advantage of more
extensive philosophical and spiritual readings and experiences that my 25 years
prior to GMJ’s entrance in my life afforded me. I also never completely let go of my
own control of my life. While diving into much of his universe (as
evidenced party by my roles and actions), I always felt it was up to me to
bring the best of my being into the process. So, for example, when
____________ and I shared a room in the ashram, we always had a
TV (considered a no-no for ashram residents) – not really to “escape"
into sports (although I still lament the deep hole in my knowledge of sports
history from the mid-70s - mid 80s) – but more because we believed that staying
connected to the world in that way only enhanced our ability to perform our
services. My service brought me into regular contact with “normal” people;
I needed to speak their language and know the events and ideas that shaped them
at the time. I have zero doubt that GMJ knew we were doing it and trusted
us to do what we thought best. He had plenty of opportunities to interact
with us and to make his own judgment about whether our actions were
diminishing our experience or ability to be useful to him. I believe that I made a conscious
choice, continuously, to follow him. I was aware that it was always a choice
I made, but it was my choice to make. I was fortunate to have numerous
experiences of how “monmuts (those who left knowledge)" were considered,
treated and even languaged. I also had plenty of experiences of GMJ's
utter meanness and what was obviously his tenuous grasp on reality, which
became ever more tenuous over time as he wanted more of the material and other
trappings he warned about. I was pimping for him when he was 13.
I was buying him booze and dope even earlier. His deep character flaws were
obvious to me, and I was never able to embrace the idea of dismissing them to
the grace and power of guru. I never truly abandoned my values, and that
is what doomed me in his eyes. I really pissed him off on at least two occasions, and the
feeling became reciprocated. First, I went to him with stories of how the
children, the babies were being malnourished at the hotel that housed families
working on GMJ’s airplane renovation in Miami, and said that he MUST stop
progress on the airplane, balancing it with the human needs of his premies -
and of babies, babies! His reaction?… he barred me from his residence for
a month. In one of my roles, I had the
responsibility of dealing with everyone who showed up to see him from all over
the world, and admitted more than a few to mental hospitals. I approached
him with a written, well-explained, detailed and excellent idea that addressed
what I had learned from him about what he wanted done in regard to those often
bedraggled, suffering premies, but also allowed us to do our best to care for
them as they needed. His response?…from that point on, he no longer
allowed me to see him and I no longer had an interest in doing so. I could not accept in my deepest being
that guru would abandon people to suffering, and rebelled at the notion that,
if that was happening, it was because he knew what was best. I was
unwilling to give up the love and compassion I had felt from birth, and if that
was not okay with him - then fuck him. I was well aware than I made a
choice - to remain with him, and so never truly harbored deep resentment from
that aspect, like I was tricked, trapped, or cajoled. In many ways, I
benefitted greatly from my many years with him and in the ashram. But I
was going to be god-dammed to give up myself, thinking my true existence lay
only in surrender to him. Now, unquestionably, I did a hell of a lot of
surrendering. And no doubt, to my retrospective chagrin, I was the
vehicle for him to create much suffering in people’s lives. So, maybe I never have processed it
all. I do know that it just about never comes up in my thoughts, and as
far as I can tell, in my feelings.
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Thank you Roark for asking your friend to write about his experience for us to share. Please thank him. I am speechless. ( and have to go to work ).
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Wow, this guy must have had a unique relationship with him.
I can't imagine doing either for rawat...I think I would have left...maybe that's why I was never considered for such a role...
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'I was the
vehicle for him to create much suffering in people’s lives. So, maybe I never have processed it
all. I do know that it just about never comes up in my thoughts, and as
far as I can tell, in my feelings.' So long as you never have to think about the people you were complicit in harming, you can go on feeling comfortable in yourself. Charming.
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Thank you Roark for introducing this bit of history and fly-on-the-wall perspective from your friend. However to be honest...I am with 13 on this, how very charming indeed.
I think each of us had a "special reason" that we stayed with him throughout those years. In this case I am not sure that I can square with his (seemingly) leisurely approach to setting things right. But then... we were all hypnotized to some degree...And I am compressing his (multi-year) story into a 10 minute bio.
That being said (and I apologize for reading more into his testimony) but saying that "it never comes up in my thoughts...(or)...feelings" bothers me.
That's alot of complicity just hanging around waiting to be let off the hook. I guess I would have to say "step up and take some responsibility".
One thing I observed plain and simple over the years, was the phenomenon of Satsang. It meant "In the company of Truth". In my mind that meant two simultaneous things. 1) the speaker was "in-the-moment feeling it" AND 2) that their delivery had a sense of honesty and truthiness to it.
That combination was powerful as well as comedic, loving, riveting, cathartic, bonding, romantic, and entrancing. With an effect like that deeply moving so many of us every day, how could someone participate with such ugliness and deceit from Rawat for so many years ?
What do they say in the US Congress ?... I yield back my time...
Modified by Manincar at Mon, May 01, 2017, 19:43:01
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Hi 13 and Manincar, Hmmm, I guess we
all aided and abetted GMJ’s efforts to some extent, no? Personally, I didn’t really give a
shit about GMJ smoking pot or drinking when he was young (having bought into
the mythology that someone like what he was supposed to be did not have to follow
the same rules as us sentient proletarians).
Plus there were other interesting standard-bearers at the time that bent
the rules (like Trungpa, an impressive teacher) and many in the distant past
that were much more eccentric. What I see in my friend is just someone that
spent years and years carefully processing, and now expressing himself openly, honestly
to me. But it’s much easier for me to see
past the words you take issue with, inasmuch as I know him as one of the most
open-hearted and authentic dudes I’ve been around, and that he has spent most
of his life post-GMJ in laudable (real) humanitarian efforts. Also, I know of VERY few premies
that were courageous enough to directly confront GMJ to his face during those glory
years. Interestingly, I actually lived
at the hotel that he confronted GMJ about, and it never occurred to me at that
time that the conditions were so bad that we needed a champion, LOL. Anyway, I would hope that my friend
has processed to the point that he no longer has to self-flagellate, almost four
decades later. But it brings up a crucial Forumesque
issue: forgiveness. Interesting idea, “forgiveness”:
associated with the giving up of anger and resentment. The nature of anger and resentment entails
feelings of constriction / defensiveness, and typically a call to action for an
angry response. While informative, it
feels self-destructive. Forgiving, on
the other hand, opens the heart, feels good. Forgiving would likely include self-forgiving,
I suppose. And I wonder if I have really
forgiven myself for being so fucking stupid as to not be able to see through
what was really happening at that time. But if I can forgive myself, seems
it would be easier to forgive anyone else’s complicity. Luckily, giving up my self-directed anger and
resentment doesn’t mean I have to repeat the same mistakes (hopefully). M
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I took pimping to mean procuring women.
It doesn't feel good to harbour anger and resentment (I'm glad your friend had what it took to stand up to Rawat, kudos there!). But that doesn't invalidate it. I no longer judge things simply by what feels good. We all aided and abetted to some extent and I regret my part in that, and though I can't undo things, I felt I could at least raise my voice here on the forum, recognising the errors I made raising my voice in 'satsang'. It's not much, but something.
It's hard to forgive someone else's complicity when they seem to express no regret themselves, nor acknowledge the harm caused with their assistance. Just shrugging it off and never thinking about it doesn't cut it for me.
I very rarely think about Rawat and the cult. But I never want to forget about it. I imagine that recognising I'd been duped so easily and thoroughly might protect me from being duped again. That seems the best strategy logically, though I admit there's no evidence of that working, having been duped several times since. (It's a balancing act between being alert and becoming paranoid!).
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It's possible to be involved with either drugs sex, or rock'n'roll or all three and still have empathy. Prem's reaction to punish ( by shutting off contact, what could be worse after all) the plea to help the starving babies or a plan to actively help the destitute and mentally unstable is obviously the part where the veil fell off for this guy. We have all wished it fell off way before it did and I believe 40 years of journaling and other processing he mentioned should be long enough to not be haunted by remorse. This letter was not to us initially. and... who are we to judge?
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Thanks, Mike. I forgive the friend of yours. I do. I
am sure I know who it is. I know this
person to have a big big heart and has tried hard to make this a better
world. I know him and know his
intentions. I forgive because I need
forgiveness as well. I held on to
grudges thinking it would be right, but it hurt. I am hurting.
I hope I will receive forgiveness, mercy one day. Real forgiveness. The whole GMJ scam was hard for all of us to
admit we’d been taken. [Lord of the
Universe, my ass.] Anyway, peace to all
in these mixed up times.
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Thanks for your sweet post. Love, Cynthia
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well I don't know what in particular you are hurting over but you have my commiserations. Emotional pain hurts just as bad as physical pain. And can be so hard to know how to ease.
If you know what's hurting you maybe you can fix it, or maybe it's something that happened in the past and you can put it in the lap of time to fix.
I think the basic idea of a grudge is to avoid being hurt more. I can admire a good grudge but I'm not good at them myself. And you've got to do your own balancing act haven't you.
In my view, it's only sensible to be interested in holding myself accountable rather than anybody else. That's the way I'm built. All I can do is hope everyone else does the same. Unfortunately that means I can easily end up believing it's up to me to fix something that I can't - it's not mine to fix, it's up to the other person.
eg. I couldn't fix things by being a better premie, it was Rawat's lies that needed fixing.
My point is this, if you're like me then my best way is to persist in getting to the truth of the matter - apportioning the blame where it really should go can do a lot to ease things, even tho initially it seems the opposite as you touch the hurt.
Sometimes it is just little adjustments in your reality map that make all the difference and sometimes it's a big shift like omg Maharaji is a fake.
Alleviating my hurt is most certainly very much not about me being more forgiving, I can't even stop myself from forgiving the unforgivable! No, it's been more about sorting the fly-shit from the pepper, and that is a huge thing.
I think sometimes we take the blame because in the moment it seems easier or better even, than facing up to the real cause of one's pain.
As we learnt with Rawat, when you put your faith in a lie, all your loving strength is turned against you.
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A poem that leaves me lacking words. Haha.
I keep reading it over and over. It's brilliant.
Love, Cynthia
Modified by Cynthia at Thu, May 04, 2017, 00:33:34
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I do appreciate the encouragement very much.
I've been doing a lot of writing - just finished my April write-in, and the clay tile I've been working for so long it's like my whole life and I have no idea how I will feel when it is done is in it's finishing stages now so i need lots of good luck too. I hope you are well, and wishing you lots of good things to come, xoxo
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Alleviating
my hurt is most certainly very much not about me being more forgiving, I can't
even stop myself from forgiving the unforgivable! No, it's been more
about sorting the fly-shit from the pepper, and that is a huge thing. Lesley, thanks.
But I’m sure it’s just a transatlantic loss in translation. But the phrase about sorting the shit flakes
from the black pepper, the Internet tells us, means the overconcentration on
minutia – not something to strive for in any situation, especially it would seem in
order to get clarity or deal with forgiveness.
But thanks. If you’d like to
enlighten us on what you meant, please do, though it’s not necessary. I’ve been confused by most of your response
for days now, the above being the most confusing sentence and trigger for this
response, finally after days of ????. My pain from which I seek forgiveness can be likened to
the pain shown by both Michelle Williams AND Casey Aflack TOGETHER
times 10 in that scene from “Manchester By The Sea” when they first run into each after after not seeing each other for a time – not something easily dealt with. BELIEVE ME!!! Did you cry in that movie? In general, I feel less of an big spiritual and regular ego since ex-ing, and
leaving the inner circle way way back, a long time ago and my feeling of superiority being so close the "Lord." I visited the site of the old residence where I
had lived for a while and did 24/7 service, but it had become just a whole in the
ground – kind of like how the house ended up in “Poltergeist” – just caved in
on itself into a dust hole.
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Thanks OTS,
We have our little sangha here, earnest yet wounded brothers and sisters. Too bad we can't hang around more in person, I'll bet it would be pretty fun.
M
Modified by roark at Wed, May 03, 2017, 21:14:56
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Modified by Cynthia at Thu, May 04, 2017, 00:46:30
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It's hard to admit that one was is a destructive personality cult. The post is a list of reasons why this person claims not to have been affected by his involvement. I don't believe him that he did it all by choice.
Rawat didn't come to the west until he was 13, so I'd be interested to know how he could have been getting booze and dope for him earlier than when he was pimping for him. Also, there's no apology or remorse for procuring women for a 13 year old boy, and more important, no sign of regret for what those women/girls? may have gone through as a result of "being procured." Especially if they were premie women, because that stacks sexual abuse on top of spiritual abuse, which is what a personality cult leader does, and exactly what Rawat did -- the entitled little prick!
The post is flat and bereft of any feeling. I don't get a sense that he's actually deconstructed his involvement at all. It sounds like a long list of denials.
I suggest he post on the forum himself. He doesn't have to use a real name. It's hard to respond to a nameless piece of writing. Even a fake name is fine. And I promise not to bite.
I'm glad he made Maharaji angry. Good on him for doing that twice.
I read this forum and occasionally post, and I never think about the cult or Rawat, anymore.
Modified by Cynthia at Mon, May 01, 2017, 21:32:01
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Cynthia
Just to clarify, I was just communicating with this person as a friend, and I thought it would be interesting to the Forum to post a small piece of our communication. It was not that he asked to be posted (so he doesn't need a fake name).
Also, his use of the word "Pimp" did not refer to obtaining girls for him, just a colloquialism for getting GMJ pot and drink, so calm down.
If you read what he wrote a little more carefully, I don't see him claiming that he wasn't affected by his involvement, conversely, he mentioned the years and years he spent continuing to work through the issues of his involvement, etc.
And so forth...
M
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You titled your post "a new voice on the forum" so I took it to mean you were posting something for your friend.
Btw, when I read "pimping" I did take it to mean procuring women for Rawat because that's what the word means.
All the best,
Cynthia.
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Hi Cynthia
Yes, after the first paragraph, the balance of the post is what my friend wrote (which I hoped could be of interest to the Forum readers).
So I am just passing this through, but the tone of my post to you reflected my feeling that you may be too quick to pass judgement on what he has deconstructed or not, based on just a snippet of conversation.
M
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Hey, no problem. Btw, there have been premie men who actually did procure premie women for Rawat, so when your friend used the word "pimping" I took it literally.
Btw, one thing I do is read a lot. I read two to three books per week. I read your friend's post three times before I responded.
I've been posting on the ex-premie forum since 1999. That's 18 years. So, my comprehension level is quite high, so please don't presume that I don't have the ability to read posts here without understanding them.
Finally, I do think it's better if folks post here for themselves, rather than the approach you took. If you post any responses from your friend I'll ignore them.
Cynthia
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Modified by Cynthia at Wed, May 03, 2017, 17:49:39
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Ron Geaves spent much time with Rawat before he came out of India. He used to tell me lots of stories about that time including about how he took bhang, which is an edible form of cannabis.
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A beautiful post which i am very grateful for. From this i can understand that he was always a fraud, from the outset and his mean spiritedness towards his devoted volunteers speaks volumes. No empathy. Spiritual master indeed. Thank you "anon" for standing up to him, for recognising where you couldn't compromise and stepping away. If the forum had been going then I may never even have joined the cult rat race. I like that you recognised the fact that you had a choice. I didn't really, not until recently. I was younger and that may have had something to do with the fact that I absorbed the brainwashing that went- Rawat and his Lila and Agia is in control, that I didn't have a choice, unless it was to surrender.
I can imagine that having learned that you had free will and going through a process of choosing and re-choosing Rawat.... until you didn't, would have left you with less resentment, less to forgive in him, than someone like me who occasionally feels that my free will muscle might be a little underdeveloped. But the pointing to why doesn't solve the how of exercising that muscle or help me exploring ways of interacting with my world.
We all have the respective chagrin, the acknowledgement of causing suffering in peoples lives, to various degrees at different times. And Thank God! Hurray for the fact that we have had to process this, to journal, to lean on the wisdom of moral people, to re-evaluate our actions in the clear light of day. without that we would be just like him. I can't even imagine. Something is fundamentally wrong with his wiring
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If you truly were the vehicle for him to create much suffering in people's lives, then I am surprised that you give Rawat such a free pass and that you don't feel worse about the whole issue of your involvement with Rawat.
I can't say that I was a direct vehicle for Rawat to cause suffering, but the money I gave certainly didn't do any good things in the world. I still feel bad about wasting so much of my resources on Rawat. Thankfully, he probably just pissed it away on himself and his family, so the damage to others that financial ability can provide was probably minimal.
Unlike you, I do hold Rawat responsible. He knew he was not the Lord of the Universe, or anything close. Yet he played to our spiritual vulnerabilities without remorse. Money is his focus always. People are to be used to provide him more money and property. He is a leach, a pretender, and a scoundrel. Forgive him if you like, but hold him accountable first. He used you, and then spit you out when for whatever reason when you were no longer useful to him. Just like the rest of us.
The fact that you were able to move on in your life is great. Best of luck, and thanks for sharing the post.
Modified by swimming free at Tue, May 02, 2017, 08:36:48
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"I was well aware that I made a choice - to remain with him, and so never harboured deep resentment from that aspect, like I was tricked, trapped, or cajoled."
That's, well I have a phrase for it, I call it the double-fuck. .. enough said? 
Of course he was tricked, trapped and cajoled, as he says earlier up the page, neatly parcelling it as part of the human lot. And he was heavily manipulated. But now he knows, it's his choice to stay? Doesn't change a thing about what's happened in the past and at that point in time, it's ongoing.
If you've been knee-capped sometimes you don't have a lot of choice about where you stay. But, much as you can stuff it down to an extent, you don't have any choice in how you feel about it.
As Shakespeare put it, if you prick me do I not bleed?
Fortunately even feelings like resentment can be forces that result in good changes.
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Mike, I want to say how grateful I am that you started this thread. It takes courage to stick your neck out with anything that can be interpreted as controversial. Even EPO can sometimes feel redundant. So the moment I read your post I was excited. This was something worth talking about !
And I have to say that it felt SO good to express my anger in responding to it. This is a healthy sign of a vital society. Something that would be utterly untolerated and quashed in the myopic dystopia that surrounds Rawat and his current cultish incarnation.
Long live free speech and strong minds !
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I'm really appreciating all of the above posts, provocative, and with subtle undercurrents. The thing
that is sticking in my mind about this thread relates to how we communicate our
feelings, our semantics. I am going to
ramble. It’s like
there are memories of past occurrences lodged somehow in the folds of our
brains, and many of these data points have emotional content attached, usually
consistent with what was experienced at the time of these memories. So when dormant memories are recalled, the attendant
emotional content arises with them. If
our thoughts do not bring up the data, typically the associated feelings are
dormant. But in some cases, rather than
responding naturally and fully to events as they arise, deeply rooted emotions can
take on a life of their own, driving our attitude and thus our behavior without
any precise related reference data points, and the clear recognition of how
this driving force came into the forefront. However, “processing”
memories can mitigate the attendant emotions, both positively (evoking less
suffering and the need to create the same in others) and perhaps negatively (amplifying discomfort and the tendency to spread it around). For example, I no longer get quite so worked
up when I think about how Fred Troop ripped off my love beads in high school! But obsessing about an event might amplify a reaction out of proportion. But I guess it
rubbed a few of us the wrong way to read my friend’s comments, especially:
“I was the vehicle for
him to create much suffering in people’s lives. So, maybe I never have processed it all.
I do know that it just about never comes up in my thoughts, and as far
as I can tell, in my feelings.” On one hand
he directly implicates himself in creating suffering, then says it does not
come up in his thoughts and feelings. However,
prior in those comments, he talks about the lengthy process of trying to
disengage and sort out what happened (obviously spawned by some remorse), mentioned
that he is not sure what lurks, and takes responsibility to the extent he can
(thereby diffusing his ‘victimization’ at the hands of GMJ). Seems pretty reasonable to me. So I sat down
this morning as I do (on my cushion in my ‘time out’ corner), and ended up
musing on things like the difference between memory data and feelings? Whether one can truly learn to avoid a
mistake without a reoccurring emotional reminder (like righteous anger)? Why some memories that used to cultivate a stronger
emotional response in me no longer evoke much of a response at all? Etc. I scanned my memories
of when I was in the ashram for several minutes, and the most evocative memory that
arose was of sadness and regret regarding my beloved dog, Leroy, and how we did
not get to spend his last years together (having been resettled with my parents
on the farm so I could be in the ashram).
I recalled a few people that I could have been more caring of, especially
my family, more sadness and regret. There
was some mild embarrassed dissatisfaction of myself for my own naiveté (but the
bar is not set so high for the Roark knucklehead), but I could not seem to get in
touch with much anger on my own behalf when I thought of GMG and what had happened. But it's not like I would touch the whole
thing with a fork now, so lesson learned. Of course I can
feel heartsick about those that suffered and continue to suffer in the context
of him and the ensuing culture, in the same way I do when I read the NY Times every
morning. Likely my own
lack of regret in how I look at that period of my life is impacted by how I
feel about my son, and how he would not exist in the splendid form he does had
I not been in the situation I was, met his mother under the circumstances I
did, and so forth. In fact, that one lucky
outcome that the entire universe conspired to create might single-handedly have
been able to take the wind out of any deep-seated anger and resentment I could
feel. But it is more than that simple,
and I also try to take responsibility for my shit. So would I be
giving GMJ a pass by not being able to connect with real feelings of anger and
resentment? Have I ‘forgiven’ him simply
by not being angry nor resentful when I think of him? I mean, GMJ is a massive dickhead, and he is
still masquerading as something he is not, fucking up lives and misleading. So the word forgiveness does not seem to ring true
regarding how I feel about him, given especially that he is still on the loose.
I conceptually dig that premieland is a
screwed up situation, but those feelings of outright anger towards him don’t seem
to come up in everyday life, and happily nor does it seem to drive how I behave. If I did happen to run into him and had the
opportunity to express myself, I’ll bet significant anger would complement what
I had to say in that moment. But I was more
thinking about self-forgiveness in what I wrote, self-acceptance if you will. And how if we can be affectionate towards
these creatures we call ‘ourselves’, somehow accepting and even embracing our
present life without regret, that it is so much easier to be patient with
others. And how it is easier to embrace everything
that happened in the past to allow us to be where we are. I think the
capacity for sadness will always be there, as sadness is tied to love and the
poignancy of life. Anger and resentment,
maybe not so much. Hmmm, I may
have gone off the reservation…… M
Modified by roark at Wed, May 03, 2017, 21:28:52
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I could relate to and mostly understand it. Thankyou.When I quickly read your friends musings I felt a whirlwind of confusion ,anger and humiliation....( partly that paragraph you mentioned )....That's why I didn't really reply except to thank you both.In the past, your own posts have sparked a similar reaction in me. I felt that you and your friend must have encouraged each others denial of the negative side of premiedom.
The whole thing still makes me sick.
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Lexy, Actually, although my friend have stayed in touch through the years, we
did not really process with each other about GMJ.
However, we have shared some overly-strong, homemade margaritas, discussed
business management styles, intentional communities and such. My own ex-ing process was
largely a solitary process, although I did have support. Neither my friend nor I deny the negative side, obvious from what we write. On the flip side, speaking for myself, I am also aware of a
very positive side. I am curious, how long ago did you begin your ex-ing process? M
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Please tell your friend that I found his confrontation of GMJ about malnutrition and other misdeeds to be courageous. He suffered the obvious ex-communication. Thanks to him for speaking up for those who were suffering and poverty stricken.
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Hi Marianne!
Sure thing, and I think he may have another missive coming (for me to post on his behalf).
Hope all is good with you.
M
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I'm going to eat crow here concerning my comments about somone posting on another's behalf. I've changed my opinion on it after some thought, and would like to hear more from your friend.
I was at DECA for a year and I never heard about malnourished children. It's horrendous that it happened. I'm not surprised that Rawat didn't care. And what Rawat did to your friend was withhold his affection as the Lord, by ostracizing him from the residence.
I got fired from DECA because I had a physical breakdown (I was no longer of use). After a couple of week's rest, I was assigned to work with a lawyer at DLM headquarters, where we processed divorces for premie couples, some with children. This was because one of the couple had a specific skill needed for the airplane, and that person would move into the ashram.
At the Broadripple ashram, we ate very well. At DECA, we ate well,
because food was transported from the Broadripple to the project in Hialeah,
I've always felt remorse over being a part of splitting up premie families and have apologized here on the forum for my part in it. But, I never heard about the malnourished kids. It breaks my heart to now know this.
My one question is this: were the children who were malnourished in single parent situations? Both parents together? I know I had no power to change what happened during the airplane project, but I'd like to know now, if I played a part in what happened back then to those kids.
Cynthia
Modified by Cynthia at Fri, May 05, 2017, 09:33:11
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Sorry it's taken me a long time to reply....have to work.
I suppose the "drips" ( as described long ago by AJW ) were increasingly there but I didn't get on the Internet in a viable way until 2004 ..... and as soon as I read ex-premie org. and its obvious truths ( Bob Mischler interview, Mike Finch's and Jean-Michel's writings and other ex-premies that I had known ) My heart was broken in one evening glued to that site....and that was that.
I found this forum ( in its incarnation at that time) and received incredible information,insights and help.
Probably read your posts for the first time way back then ( 2004 ? ) .
I was initiated into the cult at the Palace of Peace in London in October 1973.
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No anger? No wonder, it's been 35 years since anyone was in a DLM ashram
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