I didn't know your father but I feel that in a way I "knew" both of you. I (and others here) lived in the ashram throughout the seventies until they closed in 1983. We lived identical lifestyles by the same vows and rules that didn't vary from ashram to ashram. I know because I lived in six of them, one of them just up the road in Manhattan.

Your post was particularly moving because I often did childcare for five-year-old children during nightly satsang in 1975 and the years that followed. I even volunteered to do childcare so that mothers could gather for afternoon satsang. I have an indelible image of how that first visit to an ashram as a five-year-old in 1975 must've appeared to you.

As for any advice, that's very difficult. But as reluctant as I am, I'll go out on a limb.

As Aunt Bea said, take your time about it and think it through. Do you really want to do this? If so - and I can completly relate to where you're coming from - then in addition to caring for your step-mother, please also protect yourself by being prepared for a wide range of potential or unanticipated reactions, e.g., from emotional distress to a casual "don't be silly... that's old news" dismissal - followed by false narratives. Perhaps all you can do is be genuine and caring going in and genuine and caring going out.

Either she hasn't heard about it or she has. My sense is that living near the residence in Malibu in a tightly knit premie community where the rumor mill is likely rampant, she may have already heard about it. If so, then she may have had plenty of time to let it sink in, and apparently she hasn't left yet. As your question suggests, I'm sure you can imagine how a person who's dedicated and invested fifty-two years of their life might cling to anything to avoid facing something that could upend the entire foundation of their life. (It was one of the most difficult things I've ever faced.)

As I mentioned before, the most prevalent false narratives being circulated can perhaps be summarized as follows:

• Various attempts to discredit Hans and his wife.

• Various attempts to challenge the reliability of Hans' memory, e.g., false memories, post-concussion syndrome, alcohol and/or substance abuse (reportedly rampant throughout the entire family).

• Hans has fallen into the clutches of his controlling, manipulative wife and a hate group who are putting words into his mouth, the implication being that he's too weak to prevent himself from being used by others.

• Hans is confusing a medical treatment with sexual abuse (from early childhood until the age of six or seven!?).

• It wasn't sexual abuse but rather a common, culturally acceptable practice or even a form of showing affection.

• (I'm sure it won't be long before we hear that the four year old? recording of Prem's admission is a fake that was produced by artificial intelligence.)

Sadly, in my opinion, these are deliberately fabricated and reprehensible false narratives that followers will cling to until such time that it's no longer possible for them to deny the truth and not face the implications. I personally believe these false narratives arose out of a group of followers who got together and threw whatever they could come-up with at a wall to see what might stick. As Jon Lovitz, in his comedic role as a compulsive liar on SNL used to say, and as Susan posted below:

So please be prepared for any contingency because it sounds like you've been through more than enough with this cult and even more of it is the last thing you or anyone else needs. And I also look forward to anything others here might have to say.

Thank you so much for taking the time to post. It really means a lot to find out that something said here helped another person.

Bob Tooker