What a great post. thankyou

Actually -- reflecting to day - as I watched the rain fall and run along the street (I'm strange - just like the rain - it brings me joy) just how lucky I am with good friends, a loving family, interesting hobbies and so very fortunately still hale and healthy.  I am naturally I think usually quite a happy and peaceful person - as indeed I think most folk either are or aspire to be.  

You well describe the fear factor that kept us locked into the cult mindset for 30 odd years. It is interesting in a way to now see that the loss of 'that connection' that had presented itself as being of such utterly fundamental  importance in our lives for so long was just so much vapour ware - a borrowed identity perfect only in its insubstantiality.   Rawat's 'teachings' -- pah!  I just hope that any real world threat or power to intimidate of Rawat's cult is similarly insubstantial.  Rawat and TPRF etc must live in constant fear of there ever being any real journalistic interest.

Oddly though -  here is a (slightly irrelevant) thing and I wonder how true it is of ex-premies generally?  I do still have dreams where I am with premies  - last night all trying to get to some 'event' or another.  But maybe now I dream lucidly because now I find myself making sure that I leave before Rawat arrives and encouraging others to do the same?  So still some traces of all that deep in my unconscious somewhere.

Tim