"everyone at some time in their life places another person on a pedestal and loves them unconditionally...but a bit too much."
This resonated with me and I've been thinking about it. Can you really love someone too much?
And anyway, I'm not sure we have any control over love, rather it's more the other way round.
My mother and I had each other on pedestals. It was a long time before I realised not everyone had such a nice mum but we never even wobbled - of all the stuff that happened the thing in my memory is the companionship we shared.
Sometimes it's not an idealisation, an imagination you are loving, it's really the person.
I never worshipped Rawat! I never actually had those feelings, I never loved him as no other.
He never actually inspired me.
I kissed his feet, I gave him money and handmade gifts, I hung on his words. I believed he was 'god in a bod'. I believed that in all sincerity and now I know how fake it all was. I cared for him is the best you could say, it wasn't what I signed up for but I cared for him, he cared for him and neither of us was looking out for me.
In his eyes I'm a patsy but not to me, not in my eyes and not here on this forum. Sincerely mistaken washes away in the tide.
But not the real thing, that stays, that's still there after the tide. just the way it is.
