for me - its a hourly thing - this week i realized - that i never went after anything because i was too busy trying to be close to maharaji physically - that was the goal after all - for me.
so i have regret that i never pursued anything in this world and feel slighted by M.
last week i was ok with my past and acceptance reigned true.
so its different perspectives for me - the older i get the more resent i feel and less at peace i am with my past.
of course someone could say something at anytime - and ill have a different truth.
im grappling with being alive in this world and not going after my dreams - because i didnt have any - m was my life at 17 and was still my life at 50 (albeit in a different way)
im 63 now and see everything in a different light now
it was the people who i became lifelong friends with who have mad the biggest positive influence.
