I think you are stating something many of us feel. I hesitate to tell people that I was once in a cult because I think most see it as a sign of being stupid and gullible. The especially hard fact is the vast majority of people had no trouble seeing Prem Rawat/Maharaji as a scam artist and saying so. So then, um, why us? Right? My stepfather brought me to Satsang the first time, and I was 13– that helps me excuse myself a little. But I can attest that I tried to satsang lots of people my age and most would have nothing to do with it and were revolted. The couple friends who actually got involved I feel great regret about to this day-
I don’t know if something was wrong with us. What were our shared vulnerabilities? I do believe, and there is lots of literature on cults to support this, that the need it met isn’t the same for each person. For me, I know I liked the sense of community, I liked the hugs and smiles and love I got. I liked belonging. The appeal of having a framework of someone else telling me the rules for living in our very scary confusing world was an appeal.
Maybe the most important thing I have to say here is that this website has washed away most of that shame. I have been reading this site almost daily far longer than I was a premie. I respect the intelligence, insights, and kindness of most of the people here. I may be ashamed to admit I was ever a premie but I am quite proud to keep the company of this group of ex premies.
