It's funny reading the bit where you say you wish Rawat could be stopped from doing a tour because I remember, I could easily have written the same thing when I first exited but now I don't feel the same any more - I don't care, I don't feel angry, if it wasn't him doing a tour it would be someone else, people like Rawat are thick on the ground and I couldn't care less what Rawat is doing. It's us, the exed and exiting that are interesting to me.
Yes there are many gurus but Rawat was the particular one that did us over and we are the ones that can say that, and it is healing to do so.
I guess it's like any relationship where the facts don't match to appearance - yes it was your choice to enter it, but it was a fake choice, you got taken advantage of - you don't understand but eventually you get angry and that cleanses your heart and gives you the impetus to get away from the relationship, then you can assess the damage, set yourself to heal as best you can, and you have to talk about it a lot for a while and eventually you calm down.
I was 18 when I joined the cult and in my 40's when I left. I was 19 when I met my ex and nearly 60 by the time I left. So I have had two bouts of feeling like a teenager in an unaccountably aged body. It's tough, there's no denying it, but look around. See the people still stuck to their fake choices, that's really tough. There's a lot to be grateful for.
And that's the good thing that came out of joining a cult - leaving it. Leaving it is good. You learn a lot. And it's cleansing. that nice sleepy clean feel of so much better out than in.
thank you for your good wishes and interesting post.
all the best, Lesley
