“Personally I find Maharaji the most trustworthy, conscientious, good-natured and wisest person I have ever come across. In 30 years of listening to him, I have never once heard him make a single comment which would in any way suggest that he is a dishonourable person, and everything about him points to the opposite”.

Well…I could really take issue with this…I have heard him say things (even while I was a dedicated devotee) that I thought far from honourable. I could supply quotes, but for now I won’t, because I too was inspired by him, he said some wonderful things. But these were statements from the stage, which I’m guessing is your own experience of him.  Like, do you know him?  Have you met him? Spent time with him?  Have you talked to him?…probably not.  I’m guessing that you are just like most of us, who had a relationship with a stage presence, a fantasy figure , a projection of our own desire for a divine figurehead, a figment of our collective imagination. A fantastic focus for our own sincere and dedicated will towards truth and love, our longing for peace and harmony.  

He is a great performer, he has had a lot of practice, he is word perfect! But do you know the man behind the mask?  No…nor do I. This was one of my great disappointments during my time as a follower. He was always so unavailable. He had a close coterie but never made any effort to reach out to the rest of us, and the more I saw of the close coterie the more I wondered. In fact, I saw more of him during the last few years of my involvement… time spent in his “ashram” near Delhi, and the more I saw of him in the flesh, and the more I heard about him from people close to him, the less I liked him. But I squared this with my conscience , after all, he was the Master Concept Buster!! Or so we liked to think! There is another explanation…

During the many months I spent at the ashram in Delhi during the late nineties, I saw a lot of Jagdeo. I had breakfast lunch and dinner with him. I treated him with the respect that he was generally afforded, he was “Mahatma Ji”.  He lived a life of privilege and comparative luxury. He got preferential service in the dining room and was waited on hand and foot in his room by young Indian girls and boys as young as fifteen.

During my last visits to the ashram I was aware of the rumours about him. In other words EPO had already furnished the truth. I had not read it, so to me it was just hearsay and I gave it no importance. However, by this time, the truth was definitely out and he was still being treated with the greatest respect. During that visit I witnessed something that haunts me to this day. The youngest member of the housekeeping staff, a pretty girl, was crying her eyes out…..she didn’t want to go to Mahatma Ji’s room to do “service” The older women were laughing  and I couldn’t speak Hindi so I left it.  Of course, I will never know, though I brought it to the attention of the man in charge of  the ashram. I had also witnessed many examples of Jagdeo's bullying  and autocratic behaviour to other members of the staff. My letters to Deepak are available somewhere in the archives and if you really want to know the truth about this you will follow it up. I can help you if you need it.

I wish you well, it is hard to face the truth.

Karen   (aka Kelly)