Hi Lily,
I don’t know how to say this gently, but I’ll try.
As others have said, this forum is for people like me who once felt exactly as you do about Prem Rawat and Knowledge, but then discovered, much to their dismay, that Prem Rawat is not at all who or what he appears to be at his events or on his DVDs.
In other words, the real Prem Rawat that you never get to see or spend time with is nothing at all like the image of him that you carry with you, and certainly not worthy of the level of trust you place in him.
But you’ll never know that and you’ll most likely go on thinking of him in whatever terms best suit your needs unless you’re willing to do some homework.
Moreover, many, if not most, of the people who post on this forum lived in his ashrams for many years and practiced Knowledge sincerely, as taught, for many decades – so there's a lot of credibility here and certainly no one here would mislead you.
As JHB suggested, I also suggest that you take some time to read the information available on ex-premie.org, especially the section entitled “The 14 Objections.”
The truth about Prem Rawat may be discomforting, to say the least, but I think it's extremely important that we not be afraid of available information, even if it challenges our most deeply held beliefs (or in the case of Knowledge, what we "know" to be true).
Much of that information came from some of Prem Rawat’s closest followers who later had the courage to speak out about what they saw first hand.
But it’s entirely up to you. 
lakeshore
