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Hi Lexy, I read Alice's response to me the other day and then got busy and it fell to the lower part of the page. It's definitely worth a read. Here's Alice's post. I took the liberty of pasting it here. Alice, you got knowledge from the master himself and it sounds like it was hell. Waiting for the presence of the Lord, wow! -- Cynthia Cynthia: Would you be willing to discuss the techniques of Knowledge as revealed to you in the new millennium? I ask because I've been told by premies that I'm not informed enough to be able to talk about them or describe them (which is bs).
Alice: Yes, sure. Spent years, 1991 - 2000 just listening, it was the stage where people had to put their hand up and ask M for knowledge from the front of the audience at a large event. There were so many aspirants, it was only a few who ever got the chance to ask and then be cross-questioned by Rawat. By 2000 or so, it had changed to being Charanand or the Indian lady close to M, you had to ask. This was at small aspirant-only events held locally. I summoned up the desire to get knowledge, and remember having to write down on paper the reasons why I felt it appropriate to ask. I think I listed all the events I'd been to and wrote some blah blah that I had by then learnt to sound appropriate. I think Charanand spoke first about knowledge and then in the break we had to write our letter. After the break we went back into the room where Charanand read the letter whilst standing on the stage, and asked us a few simple questions, mostly to ascertain whether we had been listening for long enough, it seemed to me.
I was given the ok to get K, and went to a big event to receive it. It was one of the most horrible days of my life, as were many of the events I've been too. I always seemed to end up distraught, crying, having panic attacks at events, but always thought it was just 'me' not understanding what it was all about - because I never got the devotion/bliss thing. I started reading here and making logical connections - quick aren't I!!! My response may have a lot to do with my upbringing which was from within an Indian cult - all the same sort of crap.
We were kept in the foyer of the building for about 3 hrs, a crazy amount of time. I remember trying to get to a window just to get some light, or a view, but was prevented from leaving the area by a prem - god I loved those prems... assholes. We had been told not too get over excited and talk too much before getting K, so everyone turned into zombies and just sat there for 3 hrs, like morons. I wanted to leave, always did really, but didn't want to regret not finally getting something that might be good, that my husband was part of. We went into the hall, lots of big comfy chairs, and did some more waiting. I read my book - a novel or something - someone came over to check it out and decided it was ok for me to read. M came on stage and told us the four techniques, then I'm not sure, perhaps we then watched a video of each technique and then practiced each one, although I also have a memory of him being on stage practising with us. Then we went for lunch, I walked into the foyer where lunches were put out for us, the stillness in the group of aspirants was breathtaking in the most vile of ways. I felt very disturbed by the quality of that stillness - I am passionate about stillness in many ways and had been to retreats and meditating for many years - this was a different kind of stillness, more like a mind blowing numbness, it felt profoundly negative to me, so I went home, I just didn't want to be part of it. We were due to return for a full practice after lunch.
[[posted edited here by admin]]
Sadly Rawat never seemed remotely attractive to me, although there are many aspects about surrender and oneness & clarity that I love, and my understanding of grace I suppose. But only from time to time, not as a life mission. I now practice the first and second techniques when I feel like it, for about 5 - 10 mins at a time. Any longer and I begin to feel like I'm on a mission!
Alice
Modified by Mike Finch-Admin at Sat, Jul 15, 2006, 03:04:27
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Thanks for the tour. It sounds terrible. Dull and terrible. Forgive me if you've already explained, I must have missed it, but what happened -- or is happening -- between you and your premie husband?
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Alice, thank you for this story. I found it extremely interesting. Can you tell me how things are now with your husband? I very nearly asked for knowledge, also, thinking it was the thing to do. It would have been a horrible mistake! If you can share anymore, please do. Thank you.
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Thanks for that Alice.Well, it looks like hardly anything has changed - the 'new-style' K sessions that started in the late 1980's were exactly like you describe. I have an article on my website about Maharaji as a meditation teacher, and from what you say it is still accurate and up to date!! -- Mike
www.MikeFinch.com
Modified by Mike Finch at Fri, Jul 14, 2006, 11:54:36
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You promised, if I remember it well. I only read some fragments here and in your e-mail to me. I am curious partially because you have clearly shown on the forum that you have writing skills. Andries
Modified by Andries at Sat, Jul 15, 2006, 05:56:38
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I know Andries...I promised that about two years ago and I still haven't got it together. I've already written parts of it in my head but there are several different versions depending what kind of mood I'm in.Over 30 years of my life living in delusion,to write about . Thanks for giving me a shove and some encouragement with your compliments.Lexy.
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