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I am so sorry for you. rawat has no respect for relationships at all, because they come between him and his money. Maybe one day your husband will wake up. Give yourself a treat on your anniversary - even if hubby doesn't!
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Hi Angela, Being in a cult really isn't exactly like an addiction. There are many similarities, such as a premie needing a "Rawat fix," but it's not quite the same as say, a substance addiction, for which there are available treatments. It's difficult to explain. Rawat is your husband's imaginary friend, but in reality that's only your husband's belief, not the truth. That's what you have on your side. The friendship or relationship between a premie and Rawat is based upon years of indoctrination and mind control, but the fact remains that it's not a real thing. As your husband's loving wife, you are the real thing; you are his real friend, wife, and life companion. You are living in in your hubands life every day, and Rawat isn't. Take advantage of that. I've pondered and puzzled a lot over what to tell people like yourself and Premie-Spouse about how to deal with true-believing spouses. It's a difficult situation. Every person and relationship is so unique and it's not appropriate to give specific advice, concerning intimate relationships. That's what cults do, and what Rawat has done. The only thing I've ever come up with is to tell non-premie spouses to try to make your relationship more real to your husband than Rawat is in your husband's life. Try not to make Rawat the major issue between you and your husband because I think that's what would push him away from you and closer to the cult. Be the real-life companion and become the focal point of love in his life. Cults use love bombing to create dependency, child-like behavior, and to cloud critical thinking in order to indoctrinate. But, you really love your husband, Rawat and premies don't. Evidence of that is how quickly premies reject and shun someone that leaves the cult. It's your wedding anniversary. Suggest that you two do something special together that you both love to do -- whatever that may be. Go out to dinner, or whatever will celebrate your marriage: what's real. Emphasize that instead of your disgust with Rawat, which you do have a right to feel. Be your husband's best friend and overshadow his friendship and love for Rawat. You're there, Rawat really isn't. I know it's all so hard when you're depressed about this. The real truth is you are the real, living person that loves your husband, not Prem Rawat. Rawat doesn't even know his name. Your deep disappointment over his cult involvement won't bring your husband around to rejecting Rawat, but your commitment, friendship, and love for him just might help. All relationships and people are so unique, so I get frustrated trying to help people in these situations. I don't think of Rawat as evil because that gives him much too much power, imo, and in your situation, hating Rawat so much will come through and further push your husband away from you. Rawat's not important enough in the scheme of the world and life to warrant being evil or to even hate him. Maybe endeavor to make Rawat in his life a trivial thing rather than the huge barrier you feel. Rawat's just a little twerp that has done some life-damaging things to many people, but people like that are a dime a dozen in the world. Ex-premies are wonderful examples of how little power Rawat really has. Many of us were died-in-the-wool true-believers in Rawat and look at us! I have faith that most people can change, including your husband. My husband of 25 years was never a premie and his love and friendship for me played a large part in my ability to move away from the cult. His criticism of Rawat never helped me. His love did help me. Try using the real power of the love you feel for your husband because he's afflicted by cult membership, a large part of which isn't his fault. Be well, Cynthia
Modified by Cynthia at Sun, Apr 08, 2007, 09:14:29
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My view on addictions is that if they don't interfere too much with normal life, then the effort in overcoming them probably isn't worth the trouble.
Cynthia's post above, is the way I feel about this too.
I met & later married a non premie 22 yrs ago, who I always hoped, would, by some mysterious osmosis of Grace, come to understand the meaning of life as revealed by Guru Maharaj Ji, but no. I only found out she was an atheist a while after the, pardon me, initial enthusiastic deed had been done, & then it was difficult to bring the subject up............so I didn't.
Love grows. I believed that then, & I still do, but it is a minefield of misunderstandings. Paradoxically, our greatest fallings out about this came after I realised what a load of old bollix it is & started talking about it all.
She thinks he ruined my life, which is something I'm only prepared to go along with in certain respects, & which she'd never have known about if only I'd kept my big mouth shut.
I refuse to be a victim.
Make of that what you will.
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Wow, how convoluted. This is the latest rationalization in the Rawat cult about Rawat's position -- the "reminding" bullshit -- it's what is stated outwardly by premies to anyone other than a truely trusted co-devotee, to explain their, er, "enthusiasim" for Rawat. But premies do not believe that. Or, perhaps they believe it as technically true, but it is just the tip of the iceberg of what they really believe, as the picture on the cell phone proves. They actually think he is divine, that he is the source of good experiences they have, that he controls their lives in some obscure but significant way, and that he "loves" them more and in a way that regular human love is deficient. They believe all this even though they have no proof whatsoever for any of it. They just believe it, and they think they feel better believing it, and they are afraid not to believe it. And those beliefs are completely independent of how they actually experience their lives. As we all know, even pathologically depressed premies, miserable premies, and we have all known many of them, will continue to believe it, to hold onto it like a life raft in the middle of the ocean. And Rawat, in his huge, despicable, controlling deceit, reinforces it all the time with premies. I also believed it for years, I was also pretty miserable as a premie, and I witnessed for myself Rawat's attempts to foster fear and disdain for our own feelings and thoughts in an attempt to keep us in those beliefs. That is clearly, and without question, Rawat's fault, his doing, not ours. We chose to believe it, that's true, but given the circumstances and the fear, and the group pressure, and the years of relentless assault on our self-esteem by Mr. Rawat, I'm not sure any of us were up for making any other choice. It's remarkable, really, that we ever did break free from it.
Modified by Joe at Mon, Apr 09, 2007, 17:30:51
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