Karen, so great to hear from you!  Very eloquent and frank posts, which are most appreciated.

I hope you remember me from the ashram daze.  I agree completely.  During my time in the ashram I never got dental care and fortunately I was pretty healthy (we were all on the young side), so medical care wasn't even thought about.

What I regret most about surrendering my life to Prem Rawat, which he demanded, over and over, that we all do, is the huge cost when it came to family, education, career and most of all, personal freedom and expression.  We gave all that up, and then it turns out that Rawat wasn't worthy of any of it.  Anger is justifiable in that situation.

One of my images of the Bay Area during that era was selling flowers on the street around, Easter, Mother's Day and Valentines Day, so we could earn money and get Rawat yet ANOTHER private, luxury jet.  I remember thinking that feeling like a Moonie was just my mind, and that it was just another chance to surrender to Rawat.  Because, really, he was doing that for ME, giving me that chance to surrender and devote my life to him in a way that destroyed my evil mind and blahblahblahblah, and I'm sure I went on about it in satsang that night, never realizing how sick it all was.

Your term in the ashram is almost exactly the same as mine.  Did you leave the cult when you left the ashram?  I did, although I think I actually left the cult before I left the ashram.

So, I take it also, you were around for the ashram closures in 1983.  I left just before that.  Did David Smith treat you well? 

Anyhow, Karen, I remember you from those days and hope you are doing well.  All the best,

Joe Whalen, San Francisco