That was one of the things I felt when I left the cult.  Most of my so-called "friends" couldn't get past that I no longer believed the fantasy.  It was like my mere existence was a challenge to their existence.  It made me see that they hadn't really been my friends -- we were just in a cult together and had some affinity.  Because you now what?  If somebody is REALLY your friend, they accept you for what you believe, even if they disagree with it.  Otherwise, the friendship is just some conditional acquaintance.

Having said that, there was at least one premie who didn't reject me, although we disagreed.  I think in that case, the friendship was actually deeper than the cult.

But the thing is, "friendship" in the cult was always secondary, openly degraded and criticized by Rawat and so always less.

Now that I am not in a cult, I find friendships to be among the most important things in life.  They aren't always easy, but they are really valuable.

Hang in there, OTS.  In the end you are better off being honest to yourself and your friends.