......when you impressively used the second conditional "weren't" in the post higher up about your thick ,orange peel skin !

"It's a good thing my skin is as thick as an orange peel because if it weren't, I'd be so hurt at the comparisons with Jerry Falwell!"

I'm sorry that you've been so ill and wish you a very good recovery.I can understand how a belief  in a loving higher power may help, especially when getting through serious illness.