Hi Henna, I was in the cult 29 years ,ashram 5 years. I got knowledge when I was 18.

I remember (no little task) I was surrounded by premies before getting knowledge.

Me too.  They would come to my home ALL THE TIME with their smiles saying they knew something I was missing, and I bought the concept and ended up receiving K. I think in 1974, or 1975.  What a time that was! Prem Rawat's satsangs/"lectures" were so heavy and discouraging, always "moving the carrot away", making us feel incompetent, weak and needy of him.  Well, he does the same today in the advanced stages of receiving THE KEYS, I'm sure.  The mind trick haven't changed, I bet.

When the mahatma came to town, the premies told me to ask questions,get envolved. I didnt have any questions, I knew. But they kept encourging me to ask.So I raised my hand and told him that I didnt have any questions and just wanted to "tell" him that I was going to get knowledge. This attitude wasnt correct to the premies.

I understand exactly what you are saying because I felt the same way. Premies/followers said to me I needed to do more and more service to "prepare myself to receive K., or the KEYS, so, practickly I was all the time in the ashram, cleaning and what not. I bought each printed satsang of Maharaji and cassetes, making him richer and richer.

The point is that the "knowing" I had before knowledge is what works for me now.

Funny, we got lost from ourselves and when we realize that he is a disgusting, manipulative, evil (IMO) entity that is what really helps in the recovering process, remembering where we got lost, by "his disgrace".

I wish I could type as good as I talk. Bear

You do fine!  Is English your second language?  It is for me.