Hi Ghi,

knowledge is a meditationtechnic, and out of my perspectiv it can help to learn to be more aware what is happening inside when you take time to be still. And even the practise of "holy name" during activities is helpfull to have some more awareness. But I never get the impression that M is a good meditation teacher the emphazis was always on service. Anyway there are much more interesting meditation teachers when you look with a open mind. For me oneday after Amaroo 97 there was the question: is M a integer person, will we ever get out of the state to appear like a cult, maybe this is a family dynasty with the emphazis on making money.

Be honest there is not much change since the beginning, same troubles everytime, to much wrong people in wrong positons, this is allowed and that is not allowed. The words have changed but there is a lot of energy nessecary to rationalize the contradictions in M's organisation. He always excludes himself, but he is the mentor of this organisation and he sets the rules and the standard.

With the risk to lose 28 years of participation I allowed myself to make him reponsible for that we were going around in circles in  the same story with different names. For me those endless videos got completly boring, the instructors start to sound like my  religionteachers in the school and I asked myself again would I been attracted when I would discover M today - no surly not. M is with some background information a dubious charakter. What is a person I never spoke to, he just allows all  projections to happen, everyone gets resecuration that he or she is okay no matter how crazy they are. 

I have left M and there is not less joy in my life. The only thing I feel sorry about are my old premiefriends. When I read the new newsletter from the premies and hear all this wonderful news how sweet it is to do probagation ( to serve the ................) I see how much more free I'am today and how much this whole trip is a cult that can be very unhealthyy for a lot of poeple. 

Be happy Ghi and don't spent too much energy on rationalizing your doubts away........love ..............wolfie