I guess you got a strong dose of disagreement here and that's swell in my book... I do hope you didn't take my disagreement with you personally...

No, I am fine with disagreement. In fact, I learnt from what you and Joe and others said. However much empathy and feeling I had for Ghi, that was no excuse for my sloppy writing, and it was good for me to be challenged over it, even though I did not like it at first.

When I empathize with someone, I don't take on the same feelings that I perceive/know ...If I did that, I would perpetually be stuck in the feelings I had in my past instead of having grown beyond them. A line has to be drawn when feeling empathy because the risk is too great to fall back.

Yes, I see what you mean. I remember talking to a good therapist a while ago (at least, my judgement was that he was good), who said that he did try to actually feel what his patient was feeling, and that he was able to 'resonate' with them (his word). The difference was, he said, that while he could feel what they were feeling (as far he knew, of course) he was also able to be outside the feeling. So he could both feel, and yet not be stuck in it.

I do actually still feel what it is like to be a premie, not just remember; but at the same time I can examine it critically with the judgement I have picked up over the last four years. Thus I am not stuck in it. Of course, with your sex abuse example, it may well be different.

I'm wondering if it's time for you to take a break from reading all of the emails you get from people in response to your website.

Funnily enough, I have been thinking the same thing. In fact, the volume of emails has dropped considerably, so it is becoming much less of an issue for me. It is odd, because more people are reading the site with each month, but I am not complaining!

Thanks for your kind words.