Hi Mike,

I guess you got a strong dose of disagreement here and that's swell in my book.  That's what makes ex-premies so dynamic, IMO. Our differences.  We don't need to agree anymore and that's wonderful.  I do hope you didn't take my disagreement with you personally because I didn't mean it as something so personal -- it was more an observation.

I want to explain something about empathy to you and maybe that will help.  When I empathize with someone, I don't take on the same feelings that I perceive/know (sort of because no one can know exactly what another person is feeling) someone else may be having, even though I may have gone through the same type of experience as them, but in my past.  If I did that, I would perpetually be stuck in the feelings I had in my past instead of having grown beyond them.  A line has to be drawn when feeling empathy because the risk is too great to fall back.

A good example of this is child sexual abuse.  I empathize so much with adult survivors of child abuse, but if I felt the feelings that I know someone may be feeling, I would never get over my own past abuse.  I'd continue to be in a cycle of trauma and that's just not good, in fact, it would be very bad for me.  I think it's the same with premiedom, too.  I've grown out of how I felt when I was a premie, but can still empathize with premies, even though I don't feel like a premie anymore.  It's quite a good feeling.

When I think about premies now, I remember very well how I behaved as a premie, how I thought as a premie, what I believed as a premie, and most importantly, how I felt about Maharaji.  I adored him more than myself.  So while I can and do empathize with premies, at the same time I must put up a sort of boundary so that I don't get caught up in how it feels to be a premie.  I must retain all the growth and good feelings I now have as a result of leaving and deconstructing the mental manipulation, and protect my emotional life now.  I cannot allow myself to cross that boundary and actually "feel as a premie does now."  That too, would be very bad for me.  That's how I define empathy:  Knowing how someone feels, but not also feeling it (necessarily).

I've been thinking about you all morning since I first read your post.  This is just a suggestion, but I'm wondering if it's time for you to take a break from reading all of the emails you get from people in response to your website.  Obviously, that's your decision to make, but remember, Mike, you have done more than enough thus far to make your voice be loud and clear about how you now feel about the cult since you left.  Mike, it's so admirable that you have taken on such a huge task as responding to the folks who write to you.  Personally, I know I couldn't do that all of the time.   Maybe put up a sign saying "Gone fishing!" for the summer. 

You took a big risk by making this post.  I admire you for that a lot.

Very fondly,

Cynthia