She’s not the only person who has ever reached out. But the most unexpected. I didn’t even know Hans was married before I put the name in Google not even knowing what she might have to say. I quickly realized this was Hans’ wife. 

I quite literally was shaking after talking to her. Sick to my stomach. Anxious for their safety. Confused. She said I deserved to know because of trying so hard to report Jagdeo to Guru Maharaj Ji. And how that was handled. At that point, I only shared with people who had an obligation not to repeat it. For my safety and their safety. Not an easy thing to know.

When I was a premie, recall I was a young teen. I was so enchanted by the images of Premlata and Hans - sometimes Navi on stage. I think Daya was born around the time I left. A premie friend used to give me Daya hand me downs after her daughter outgrew them. (years after I left)

I had the softest of soft spots for those kids. I see it all now as a manipulation and image crafting. Of course I didn’t know them at all.

In high school I did an art project for class project and was a black and white charcoal of Hans looking out a window at a festival. I found the magazine I got that photo for the project from- in Prem Bio’s collection.

Shana’s been collecting some physical Divine Times and Elan Vitals she finds on EBay. When I visited them I stood with Shana and Hans and we all looked at a magazine for a moment. It was such a surreal experience. Looking at this relic from my childhood  and his with the man who was that baby in the photos