Some thoughts on Christmas Day, 2017.

There were times when I spent Christmas in the Ashram as that was the place where devotees practiced satang, service, and meditation and there was always the hope that Maharaji would bless us with his Darshan either physically or by telephone links. A special chair was always ready for him to grace us with his physical presence. Fresh flowers were beautifully prepared and cut and an Arti tray was always ready for when we sang this devotional song at his feet or in front of his picture. A large picture of him was usually positioned on his chair while a picture of his feet was put on a cushion in front of his armchair. Devotion to the living Perfect Master.  I believe this still happens in India today when he attends events.

I became involved and drawn to this path because it was all to do with timing; the stars were aligned, prophecies were being fulfilled and the Supreme Lord of the Universe had manifested in human form in India. The Word was made flesh. The Second Coming, in which God himself would bring a thousand years of Peace to those lucky enough to be one of his followers. I was one of them! The German Reich had had a different destructive vision  that my parents generation had fought against. This now, was the path of peace and inner freedom. The lord was here. I was soo wrong! 

In hindsight, I was very gullible for sure and absolutely not prepared for the Indian cult world I was entering in the early 70s. I was driven by a search for the Truth and everything seemed to point towards Maharaji and his mission to bring light, love and truth to humanity.  I didn`t follow friends or relatives' advice and did my utmost to tell them that now was the time to follow the living master. To eat one had to eat food not a menu! The living master gave divine food!!

Looking back now, that period of my life seems so fantastical and later it was fuelled and driven by years of indoctrination and spiritual idealism. The Vietnam war was still being fought and the dream of being a person who helped bring lasting peace to the world one person at a time was not a bad ideal!

I was soooo wrong in believing that what he offered was the way to accomplish this mission. His meditation is helpful but not unique and there were conditions!! Wars are just as bad today as then, in fact they could be far worse with nuclear weapons and biological warfare. The theatre of engagement has changed but the destruction is unbelievable and we are growing immune to it: Homs, Aleppo and Raqqa remind me of the bombing and destruction of cities like London, Dresden, Warsaw Nanjing, Hiroshima, Stalingrad and Berlin etc. during the Second World War. Later it was Korea, Vietnam and Laos etc. As a human race we certainly don't seem to learn about the ugliness of war and now North Korea and the US are on the verge of an even more destructive confrontation.

So external and inner peace is still a distant reality for so many and I do regret wasting years with the guru. I did learn new skill sets, made some great friends, travelled the world and for sure now have a better understanding of cult mentality.

Today, I can honestly say I have no idea what lies beyond death as regards my belief system but I am still curious to know more and remain open. In the past, I was indoctrinated to believe that it was essential for a devotee to remember his master at his last breath. We were told by Rawat, not to fall at the last fence, that his close devotees would  shatter into a thousand pieces if they left him. Fear mongering mixed with spiritual carrots were always just out of reach. One could be in Rawat`s most trusted positions and then be demoted if it was his wish. Of course this happens in all walks of life but here it was a gift to receive his agya or direction; only good could come of it but disobeying might lead to rejection and a lack of grace in one's life. He could however forgive all and welcome you back if he so wished! In fact he did this to a number of people in key positions who fell short of his expectations or left and then wanted to return. It was a fine line. Is it now? I don't know. The criteria for receiving his gift has also changed many times over the years. The requirements are very different now and those who still follow have moved on and interestingly many have forgotten that in 1978 and 1979 at the Hans Jayanto festivals in Orlando, Maharaji was the Living Perfect Master or Sat Guru. There are still many pictures and audio tapes and there people alive today who were there and can validate this to be true. He does not present this image in the West today, at least not in public. The Ex Premie website has lots on info on this!

So on Christmas day 2017, I am not in an Ashram waiting for or sharing spiritual discourse (Satsang) but relaxing at home. This is my expression of truth as I understand it.! I'm lucky to be living in a country where there is religious freedom. I'm also not in an Ashram and  If I want to eat turkey and an egg for breakfast I can!! Actually, I ate porridge and toast and for dinner a vegetarian soup, salad and fruit cake and a tot of whisky! So life goes on and I feel so much les restricted than I did back in those years. We did have a great time and devotion fuelled our tanks. It was however a cage and this bird has learnt to fly again!

I hope everyone here is enjoying a wonderful holiday season too and thank you for reading and perhaps adding your thoughts to this thread. Wishing you all a brilliant 2018 

Cheers Old Timer.