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| Re: Mis-used siddhis |  | ||
| Re: Re: Mis-used siddhis -- lesley | Top of thread | Post Reply | Forum |
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Hi Inis, I have thought exactly what you said, and yes it helped me to wriggle him into a rational corner of my mind and take stock. Now I actually think it is a mixture of charisma like Lesley says, and also plain old hypnotism, which he milked for all it was worth. I do believe in the existence of spiritual power, I believe we all have access to it, it's where intuition lives, I believe all this 3D reality is a manifestation of spirit and thought, I believe we are always evolving or in some cases devolving but there is no stopping the continuous momentum of the life force. I have said here before he got his so called spiritual power from us, a form of energy vampire, without his entourage of admirers he actually is a pretty ordinary person with really inane insights that do not rock the world. An ordinary schmuck along with distorted family dynamics in all directions to the extent that he needs an entourage to protect him from a family breakdown, to justify him and his crap self serving behaviours literally he doesnt matter I do believe he is dwindling in all manners and I dont feel he is even interested anymore - except for the fundraising side of it, it must be so poisonous to just be such a bold faced liar all the time, hidden motives and agendas always lurking -ready to be exposed. He's turned lying into an art form starting with lying to himself. Personally I do believe in spiritual evolution. Of course I do....There is no way I'm going to let a dork like him, no matter how long I hung around- get the better part of my best self to feel jaded and cynical for too long. Of course we evolve, call it ageing if you like, reduce it to it's basic physical component, but there is WONDER in the world, there is AWE. It's f*king beautiful. He has NOT got a copyright on that. Any experiences I had before, during and since the cult are mine, not due to him. He had me believe it was his power, but it was my own, which he fed off, collectively off all of us and elevated himself, hypnotised us. But wonder and awe and amazing experiences existed before him and still do..... I was marking time spiritually the entire time in the cult, except for perhaps the 1st two years, after that I stayed same same, waiting for the lightening bolt to hit. But it had run its course, there was nothing more to learn about myself from it. The Ji just wanted some adoration and $$$ so he didnt explain that his so called knowledge has an expiration date, after a point there is no more evolution to be found in it. NOW, I'm growing. Regarding his so called siddhis, I told myself this fairytale and I quite like it as a version of the evolving truth about him, I do think in the beginning he meditated , and I do think he meditated on all 9 techniques not just the 4 he showed us, he kept this to himself because he wanted oneupmanship, otherwise whats the point of the guru biz....this kept him a notch up on the scale in terms of Hypnotism Skills 1o1. It must have been for a short time because his massive ego had already taken hold and he fed on our spiritual powers, thought he had it made, bought into the spiritual falsity that there is a pinnacle to reach and one can stay there by virtue of public recognition and self grandiosment, without paying attention daily to the inner awareness, basically fell for the age old pride thing like every minor demon, sold himself down his own sewer like river and has had to drink his way into some form of escape ever since Thats a nice story and i'm sticking to it. I think the 9 techniques were too difficult for him. I think he's just lazy and entitled. Turns out we all evolved quite naturally, thanks to life itself, enough to see through that particular web he was spinning just by paying attention to the inner voice, our intuitions. Sometimes I was in the wringer, it was painful. Listening to myself and not him killed my marriage But at least I'm still evolving personally and yes even spiritually. Just because he took advantage of the idealist in me, doesnt mean I was fundamentally wrong to be spiritually seeking in the 1st place. Maybe in need of some balanced perspective in order to see him for who he is, but no, by making the more vulnerable side of me "wrong" I am basically telling myself he had all the power after all. I am not a victim in this, I made some choices with the tools I had at the time, he is a manipulator, living from the premise that he has to have power over in order to feel powerful. I have withdrawn my self from his influence and now living a life I prefer. I have stopped beating myself up for it. I have stopped giving him much thought at all. Really the only reason I'm writing now is to tell you INis that you can believe what you like and change your beliefs along this path on a daily basis for a while if that serves you, it's all part of getting away from his influence - it is part of evolving ones thinking, letting new thoughts in, keeping positive, noticing the hangover, consciously changing those thoughts for ones that feel BETTER. Not ones that disempower you, since that is the trip he had us stuck in. Embrace the reality of your all knowing ness and go for it, have fun with it, make up 5 different versions of the fairytale and pick one, change your mind about that.... or sometimes I chose to be closed off, protect from the threat of any thing that remotely reminds me of anything he said... until that didnt satisfy me any longer . There's no such thing as no such thing in my book..... My seeking was for a sense of freedom in the end. Freedom of thought, freedom of being, freedom to be authentically me, freedom to love unconditionally, freedom to span dimensions..... Find out what it was you were looking for in that search that led you to knowledge and go ahead and give it to yourself, with love and more love x |
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