When I taught swimming every so often I'd find myself in deep water with someone who was so stressed their muscles were tense and who can learn anything like that.  First things first, they need to relax and I came to recognise that when a person who had had a near drowning got into deep water, it would bring up their emotional history of experience in deep water and the terror of nearly drowning.  So I would hang in close and chat away and after a while they'd laugh at something silly and then we could add some memories of enjoying being in deep water and it wasn't long before they could relax and get their swimming happening.

It was all about balance.  Letting their emotional history of being in deep water settle into and inform their present while remaining comfortable from my company.

so for me the next thing was I recognised that I had an emotional history and what I am feeling is being triggered by my present not my past.  and it was to do the same for myself.    It led to big changes in how I saw things.  and that led to big changes in my life.