Re: Reminiscing and nostalgia, hmmm...
Re: Reminiscing and nostalgia, hmmm... -- Cynthia Top of thread Post Reply Forum
Posted by:
tarvuist ®

08/02/2017, 19:04:17
Author Profile

Edit
Alert Forum Admin




Post Reply


I don't think Susan was rude to you nor do I think that she owed you an apology.

I didn't either.  I don't think she was rude or at all owing me an apology.

..."playing house," which is what ashram premies absolutely did...because the main focus was devotion..."

Okay I guess you're absolutely sure about that encompassing equation.

...like instructors, who were treated like royalty and didn't do shit in the ashram to help out.  

You're certainly entitled to some rage about that.  But hell, I only got to be an instructor after the ashrams closed, and only in the neutered form as a part-time instructor.  Damnably missed out on getting in on benefiting from all that premie-worship of mahatmas -- those mostly pretty unsophisticated Indian men and women who found themselves Made, because they could speak some English and appealed to the young boy's mother, launched into being spiritually superior to everyone with their assuredly great souls, wandering now in the western candy store floating in respect on clouds of high status and privilege.  And then there were the western mahatmas, initiators, and instructors -- another interesting assortment of psychologies.  

I might have myself too had the chance to demand some of the royal treatment, due me likewise as I'd assiduously for so long given those mahatma jis and full-time instructors such respect and service all those prior years -- demanding chai of just the perfect temperature served in the best bone china, all my preferred food,  I'll need some caviar for the animal protein the doctor's ordered me, and new clothes of silk at each new ashram at which I'd arrive to grace with my presence, my feet massaged nightly.  I might have become just as neurotic, crazed, or ill as some of them did who couldn't maintain sanity of that weird identity, or else I could have evolved on my own to being a more accomplished a**h*le of some sort (geez maybe I did anyway).  For a decade I was just of the lowly humblest -- until by various twists of absolute chance and fate, and some religiously dedicated determination of practice too, got to be (astonishingly, as I look back) myself transported gradually across what I guess we might call the honcho borderline or into the fringe of life among the PAMs.  

Sorry for attempted humor illustrating about that stuff; some of it, though vaguely, refers to thoroughly despicable behaviors.  But they do sometimes say humor is the best medicine  - or is that just Reader's Digest talk.

...It's hard sometimes for folks to understand, that something as horrible as sex abuse, will outweigh any fond memories ...

Well I agree you'd say "might outweigh", but mightn't it be possible also that the other, the fond experiences, could outweigh too and be quite accessible and or at least be enjoyable to recall on their own? 

...it will color one's view of that insidious cult and its leader.

Surely.  Maybe in some cases becoming the primary coloration, while in other cases only an additional coloration added to a general hindsight of distaste and aversion to the overall insidiousness remembered from the past events.  

Or even in some cases not of much coloration or scar or psychological effect at all, like for me from the range of ongoing sexual abuse I experienced as a 30-year-old, and tolerated, suffered from an older PAM owner who hired me 
on in a premie openly-LG-friendly business environment, a subset within the organization.  I have loads of fond and valuable memories of that period of my working premie life, of the people, even of the guy himself.  

Of course in no way can I thereby assume I understand others' psychological and emotional responses to various kinds of abuses any one may have suffered.  But I did feel I'd acquired from that something of understanding of what women suffer of abuse, at least as in their formed adult psychology.

Sometimes, folks here, like Susan and others, might challenge your thinking, too. 

NO!  Uh, well...hmmm...  You don't say?  Hmmm.   ...they'd challenge My thinking!  I'm perplexed, aghast.  I guess that's possible Cynthia; I can conceive of it in a parallel universe kind of way.  But I'm not inclined to ponder it much.  Don't want to consider that.  No no no, reality revolves around my way of thinking.  After all I permanently perfected my thought by thirty-five years of using the ancient arcane techniques of mystical and perfect divine knowledge.  Maybe that's why I'm muchly a happy hermit these days...as well as retaining myself incognito here as Tarvuist, pestering folks and then running off.

No, actually I greatly much dislike group-think, kissy-kissy unthoughtful agreement, labeling, or claims thinly worded in veneers of non-thought, letting pass flimsy thinking and assumed absolute certainty.  I guess I'd rather read interesting thoughtful responses than hugs and petting -- I suppose just maybe I might not be selfishly able to have it my way all the time.

Unchallenged soft-headed ideas and statements should be challenged.  It might usefully even occasionally bring about better understandings here and there in the world.  

It's why I'd never have thought Susan's post to have been rude, and was kinda surprised at her apology but very much appreciated her reconsideration and restatement of the meanings of what she'd posted.  

But public conversation surely doesn't need always be of a confronting and challenging tone.  And of course there are limits for delineating uncivilized behavior and postings...fortunately we can depend on JHB to sweat out moderating things wisely.

Now I'm gonna try to absent myself from here more for awhile...revealing too much, too much presence here this summer, and moreover I obviously as you know can't bear having people question my thinking on anything at all... 






Modified by tarvuist at Wed, Aug 02, 2017, 19:44:04

Previous Current page Next

Replies to this message