Re: Question for SuzyQ
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SuzyQ ®

07/17/2017, 20:14:47
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Hi Quinn, If you look up anything to do with Narcissistic personality disorder you will see a list of traits that fit prem like a glove.

There are plenty of them about, politics springs to mind but I have also been personally involved with narc personalities and was in way over my head.

Basically I was referring to the fact that if you are not a particularly selfish person it can be difficult to recognise when someone who professes to care for you... does not. 
It's hard for an empath to understand that some people have no experience of empathy, other than on the receiving end. 
An empath can then become a source of 'supply' to a narc

There are other long threads on here where this is discussed at length. Dealing with someone with NPD is difficult if not impossible.

Prem manages the situation to keep his fragile facade in place, for eg; questions at events quickly became 'expressions'. 
Justified by him, in not so many words but basically - I have heard all the questions , if you have anything to say it better be thank you. One way street communication. red flag.

 I could go on and on and on about the traits of a narc, I am way too familiar, but it is exhausting just to think of it.
 They will turn anything and everything around to make you feel that you are the one who is wrong, crazy, whatever, basically LESS than them. 
There is no interaction where they will tolerate not being admired. So a lot of energy and attention goes into managing how others perceive them. They can be almost paranoid about this and can fly off the handle at the smallest perceived slight. If keeping up an image means lying that is not a problem. 

There is plenty of interesting stuff on the net about it, but for me I have read enough and been through enough that even having to think about it now makes me feel a familiar sensation of just being diminished, blunted my blade, made ineffective, second guessing myself, being lied to and manipulated because someones sense of self grandiosity takes priority over my physical, emotional and financial well being. 

The last relationship I had with a narc was a disaster of epic proportions ( how can it be other). The upside is it was so hideous and had me reeling from disbelief that I could be sucked in so badly into this without recognising the red flags that I deeply questioned to the point of praying to Jesus to help me understand how this had happened, how I had allowed it?

After that the house of cards started to fall, I got small titbits of info about prem that I knew nothing about and I understood! HE is a narc! 
In the background I had a long distance obsession with a narcissist ...... THAT was my problem. 
That was how I let them in unawares.
Important observation and one I am truly grateful for. 

Now, how to stop the psycho ex from sending me emails telling me what a terrible person I am....( for cutting off his supply) bear in mind this is 5 years ago. I found by accident ( intuition actually)that he had stolen from me and kicked him out. He refused to be kicked to the curb and caused multiple problems for more than a year even to the extent that the police became involved, my friends, my family, he was lying all along, exaggerating his stance until he had just taken everything too far, which impacted my health massively. It's all a game for them so there are a lot of exaggerations, especially when talking themselves up. His refusal, even now to just forget it is more about how he is regarded by me than anything, he wont let it go because being admired is what he lives off, that and using people. There is no doubt they are sick individuals, but the only way they'll admit that is if it somehow gets them sympathy and resources. There is no self improvement on the agenda. as far as they are concerned they are ultimately special and all others are here to serve them. The world and everything in it belongs to them, they have a right that is unshakable.
 I dont believe any of them have ever been 'cured' because fundamentally they only care for someone or something when they are getting something, they can drop you like a hot potato and never think of you again, as many here have experienced with prem and his entourage. Years of service suddenly means nothing. Thats if they have a new supply of course. Prem has it set up so there is always someone there to take your place
If not ? they will try to break you..... even years later






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