I mentioned in previous post asking about M at the issue of a meditation retreat I went to, led by Goenka. Asked some meditators there. Their feedback about M was very negative.

I did not push the issue any further. I had no real interest in M. It was mere curiosity.

During that stay in India, someone mentioned Krishnamurti and I went straight to see him in different places in Southern India.

But M, no I had no interest. And I did not meet any premie there during that time.

I went to India alone, after short encounter in France with 2 guys who were just back. I knew nothing about India, had no particular agenda for going there either. Just irresistible sudden pull. Did not have even a map. Just kept heading east with local buses till I got there. Asking my way as I went.

Now after 6 months traveling in India on my own, coming back to Europe turned out quite trying. I loved India and my time there. Cried a lot on departure. 

Being back did not gel too well.

I just did not want, could not get back to " regular " life.

I went back to my job, which was a good one, at which I used to be very good. Could not stand it anymore, the people there, their concerns, lifestyles. Left immediately.

Traveled a bit. Was living on an edge. 

Carrying a photo of Krishnamurti in my pocket, I aimed at developing more awareness, hoping for a major break thru, something! 

Saw Krishnamurti again in German Switzerland.

Eventually I returned to Paris. Trimmed down my life to bare nothing. A semi conscious strategy of rejection which I hoped, would bring forth the emergence of something more real.

Then lo and behold, that premie friend from before India showed up un-announced at my door. No mobile no phone no wifi back then. We had not kept in contact.

He said " am going to the U.S. to see maharaji. Are you coming? "

I asked for time to think about it

" It is a yes or a no " he prompted, " am leaving in 3 days. You have to get your visa tomorrow if you are coming" 

Next day I went to get it. Visa was necessary then and delivered on the spot.

I left my best belongings with a friend down the street. Never recovered them.

I never wanted to go the US at that time. Was attracted to the old world..India and the like. 

I never wanted to go see M.

Yet...next we were in NY which I fell in love with right away. 

Then in Philadelphia for an event.

I disliked M intensely. He looked like a greasy car salesman to me. Trying to sell love.

Yet...next day I was in the darshan line, and already gave away in an envelope the diamond ring I was wearing ( small diamond ok, but still )

Next thing we were in Miami for another event. Then in Caracas.

From where I came back to Miami Beach. To ask for K. and received it fast. 1981.

Never went back to France till many years later. And that was for an event.

When M and family moved to Malibu, 1984 I think, we ( I had married a premie by then and had my first child ) moved there too. 

At some point, someone called me from the rez and asked if I' d be willing to come to the laundry room regularly several times a week. That is how I ended up ironing Rawat' s shirts.