So we've learned a lot about the ways of the world, the energy vampires and the givers and uplifters and the fine line that exists in each choice, each thought or reaction to an emotion

Life has got more interesting since I got my hands on the controls of where my innermost attention goes.

Now I get to look at myself honestly without the constructs that I had been brainwashed into thinking I needed. 

I get to assess what I really feel I need now. 

I actually get to want things and feelings from life without judging myself to hell.

 It was as if anything other than focus on a bogus knowledge was never going to cut it.

Over the years it left my will depleted, it was as if I didn't really know how to wholeheartedly want something, a part of me wasn't sure if I even deserved it.

What an erosion of self esteem over that time.

It's great to just be able to turn heel and walk away from all that, each step in the right direction, each step more empowering of a side of myself left dormant.

It's beautiful getting to know myself, and best that I understand the calibre of certain beings on the planet. 

It's nice to be growing up finally, I feel wise and whole and happy to be here. I have less dumb reactions to crazy stuff happening around me and am far more able to deal with things.

I'm still clearing up from the past, yet it becomes easier and easier to accept responsibility now for myself.

On a subconscious level rawatism made that difficult for me.

Learning new skills, nothing like that for rewiring the brain and becoming more alive.

Good.

Prem you have been reduced to a diagnosis. You are such a full blown narc that every trait applies. I am pleased to hereby withdraw my supply.

 It's a bit of a set up you've got yourself into, walking such a fine line with your demise. You're always going to need admirers, in which case perhaps you should begin by actually being worthy of it, enough with the hollywood bullshit.