Re: Prem Rawat, Raja Ji, Jagdeo and Fakiranand...
Re: Re: Prem Rawat, Raja Ji, Jagdeo and Fakiranand... -- SuzyQ Top of thread Post Reply Forum
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Inis ®

06/08/2017, 23:17:16
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Thank you Cynthia for your lovely caring responses.
And congratulations on your getting out of the cult to Rawat!
Ah! Fakirs gurus and masters... for sure this one really pulled wool over our eyes. But in my opinion they all do.

In a way, I think it is the times in our life when we feel lost or very sad that things can really tip off.
Circumstances may differ for everyone, but there will always be difficult moments.
And it seems that those are crucial.
They can mean death...suicide. Giving up to drugs and alcohol.
Or turning to someone for help. And then it is either empowerment or its opposite.

Disempowerment was indeed set up to an advanced degree in R cult.
Instead of turning outside for help when needed I turned solely towards him. Or " inside" with the meditation techniques.

 I have nothing against meditation per se. Yet it seems to be a big mistake to go in there to either calm down or get into some modified consciousness states, which I did a lot. And successfully. Probably not to my advantage!

It is a mistake because there are things to see in life and face, and things to say.
We are not some turtles or snails that each time there is trouble out there we should just retreat into our shell.
Yet I did that a lot.

I recall clearly that on the few occasions when I went to see a psychotherapist for help with domestic issues, my background thinking was one of incredulity in their capacity, lack of trust.
 In one only I trusted.
And that was this stupid "lard" as some call him here.
This started changing towards the end of my involvement. But not deep down. 
In fact, and this is a realization that downs on me now as I am writing to you, I did not believe in outside help at all. And unfortunately a few events happened that confirmed my lack of trust.
So I ended up literally running away for lack of other solutions.

I have been out for many years. 1996/7 ...thats 20 years.
So obviously a lot happens since, I did lots of other things and the whole R story and schmilblick feels really old sometimes and far away. Even at times when I read into the forum.
Yet yet...not sure how to put this into words.
To start with I still feel reluctance about giving details about very concrete bad stories.
Yet I still have a very hard time to state my boundaries.
Yet I do retreat a lot still. Not necessarily into deep states of trance like I did during those years. But just plain retreat and back out.

Everyone is different. But for me it is the fear I want to break down. My fear. It is about time.
It is my next project. 
Tired of walking on eggshells.

So even though that story may feel "old" at times to me, there are in it major ingredients that make up for a recipe I just dont wanna eat anymore.

Again thank you for your expression on this forum Cynthia. I do appreciate your posts very much










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