We froze our tongues into the discourse he wanted us to have.

Our brains were pretty frozen also.

Yep, that's exactly it! So succinct. 

We were marking time, not marching forward. What a dick really, when I look back on it I can see that even his story about how he was as a child dissatisfied immediately with the thing he had recently obsessed over, could have told me if I'd been able to see, that this guy is a full blown narcissist. Now that I see that about him, everything about him screams it. 

 I've turned my  heel and started marching in the opposite direction, I just want to spit on the ground he walks on and hold my head up to the truth and light that he masquerades as and rejoice in the fact that I never actually needed him. He's a poisonous dwarf

We were impoverished, you're right, in so many ways. Thus the feeling to spit, but I can't help feeling that the unknown future is a load more exciting and real and beautiful in it's integrity than the past which holds those regrets. I've seen him for who he is now, and that seeing gets clearer and clearer, THAT has got to be a very good thing indeed