Kept on a leash
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Posted by:
Inis ®

05/24/2017, 02:45:50
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...and never allowed to construct, anything else than the bloody rez
I want to share 2 incidents, very symptomatic of the state of mind Rawat kept me in. I bet many of you may have experienced similar conditioning.

As a mother raising my kids on my own, very poor, I definitively needed to work on picking up my scene.
At some point I met a dynamic kind lady, owner of a real estate agency. She knew my plea, not the cult involvement. But what she could see: struggling and poverty.
Suggested I get my real estate license, studied for it. 
I bought the course, was studying hard, moving along well with it. Motivated.

Till I attended one more of Rawat big " events "
During that one he started on the subject of studies! Bashing and negative as usual about anything which was not his own soup.
You bought a course, he was saying, and here you are...keeping on with it just because you don't want to loose on your investment....blablabla...totally discouraging, discounting the validity of the efforts it takes to build anything.

Call me stupid. I was really. I heard this. And dropped out. Letting go of what I was constructing.
Yes it was work to do this, on top of child rearing on my own, the regular 3 afternoons per week of free labor at the rez, dealing with the challenges of my personal life.
I bloody dropped. Like a f...g fool.
Thanks Rawat for your encouragements! Needless to say, by his grace, my situation did not improve. Rather went spiraling down as can be expected.

Another now. Same situation. No money no honey.
So am looking for a job. Got an interview to go to. At the airport. Below my skills for sure. But hey...am way past that kind of consideration by now.
But wait before going, I have something to do at the rez. I rush up, do the job. Iron a few of his shirts. It is getting late now. Am rushing out of the rez. And bam! i stumble into Rawat. 
Realize ....ooops..am not remembering Holy Name, my breath in and out. Hard to do when in a hurry.
But thats a really bad omen right...a very bad sign. If this is what is gonna happen if I take the job, am not going...and he is right here to tell me this!


Oh yeah...we' re rolling to success here.

Maybe you have similar stories?






Modified by Inis at Wed, May 24, 2017, 02:57:03

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