Except my own.

Truth is I would not discount someone has valuable stuff to say or transfer to others even if he gets drunk and has mistresses. 

Perfect behaviour is not my gauge. 

Even though I must say at the time I was around in Malibu, I was not aware of the "mis-behaviour" of Rawat. 

Well once I had a chat with Marolyn as we were waiting for the kids out of school. Hers and mine.

She unexpectedly opened up. Telling me she did not know what was gonna happen between Maharaji and herself. Without giving me details. But the relationship was obviously not going well. She also shared her worries about Amar, then around 11 years old. Who had " bad friends" and was tackling with drugs already.

True, one time, I saw Amar, whom I really loved, looking so lost, standing on his own in a small commercial center on Point Dume. Looking really sad lost lonely.

 I said hey Amar are you ok here. He was never too communicative though...retreated further into his mood...I just left him there.

Marolyn shared her concerns with me that day. She did look indeed quite worried. 

I was too about my own. Which I shared in response.

 I would have been too shy to ask her any further questions. Or to try having a discussion on what she just had told me. We were not buddies.

Plus I was indeed too overwhelmed by my own situation. So I told her in response that I was about to loose the house I was living in with my children and where I was hosting many international premies coming to Malibu to do service at the rez. 

Doing construction there. At the time the rez was under major expanding and renovation.

I was about to be evicted for not being able to pay the rent.

I charged those guys on a daily basis, $15 to $20. When Maharaji would go touring, they all left like flock of birds. It happened a lot. Rent for the house are very steep in Malibu. I could not cover it with it, with this constant inconsistency.

Marolyn did not answer anything when I said that. That we were about to be evicted. Nothing at all. We went each our way. Her with her worries, me with mine.

Other than that, whenever I saw Rawat or both of them, mostly round school and few parties, they looked magazine perfect. Looking clean rich good hairdo French perfumes...Perfection. Very aloof also as need to be.