Re: New here!
Re: Re: New here! -- SuzyQ Top of thread Post Reply Forum
Posted by:
Inis ®

05/17/2017, 03:10:09
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Hi Suzy and thank you.

To put it in a nutshell, I cannot say I never experienced bliss or happiness during my practicing knowledge or being attached to PR.
In fact meditation was often a source of intense " pleasure ". And the rest of it exciting on many occasions.
But funnily enough, the conclusion is...maybe pleasure is not really the gauge of value.
It surprises me even to write this..then again drug addiction ( which was/is not my thing ) is of that order too?

I never thought that the terribly trying periods which led to my leaving PR and the whole deal was intentionally put there by him for my own good. I read you did and do understand though. I too did deify him for a long time like a kid worshiping god.
Yet at that point even while still in Malibu something in me started to rebell internally as far as what the hell was happening.


I hosted lots of premies coming from all over the world who came to serve " up there" 
Some telling me how lucky I was to be where I was. Right....I thought to myself...life is a constant hardship. Rough beyond rough. 

I do believe PR misled me, mislead us as far as life choices. Because if you listened sincerely it led to a crazy lifestyle of un-remurated service, of insane traveling after him. Pretty stupid things to do when you got a family to raise and feed!

Plus this crazy stance of looking at the whole world as less than we were...which is insanity.
The world may be wacko but we were not any better! In fact definitively we belonged to the most wacko fringes of it.

I dont mean to insult anyone here. I also feel very sad right now to admit to this. Shit ...this was my life! What I did around my kids!
Belonging to a stupid cult. And not being aware of it.

Ok ok...got out of it too. So lets cheer up right. 
We made it out!











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