Welcome Rawatcher!
Our involvement in the cult required a continuous denial of judgement. When I 'received Knowledge' I was given a piece of paper which included the five commandments, one of which was 'Never leave room for doubt in your mind'. What a toxic notion!
I remember a load of us in an ashram listening to a cassette tape consisting mostly of Rawat giggling. He was 'blissed out'. Someone quietly suggested afterwards that he was stoned. Of course! But who were we to judge? With hindsight, who better? Later I heard stories of Rawat giving early premies in India strong dope and sending them on journeys. I took it as 'lila' and filed it away as beyond my own judgement.
That never leaving room for doubt - the suspension of judgement - allows us to file away uncomfortable facts and keep the faith. Rawat was an ignorant narcissistic bombastic buffoon, but we all managed to ignore the obvious flaws at least for a while. Having such people in leadership positions isn't unusual it seems. It's easy to turn a blind eye.
